Attachment Styles According to the Characters in “The Office”

The Office isn’t just a show about paper. It’s a show about people. Messy, lovable, emotionally baffling people.

As a therapist, I can’t help but notice how clearly each character reflects a specific attachment style. And what better way to explore something as human and complex as relationships than through the antics of Dunder Mifflin?

So let’s break it down—secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized—and look at how these styles play out with our favorite dysfunctional office family.

Spoiler alert: just like in real life, some of these characters grow. Some don’t. And all of them teach us something.

First, What Are Attachment Styles (and Why Do They Matter)?

Attachment styles are the emotional blueprints we carry into relationships. They’re shaped by early caregiving experiences—how safe, loved, and emotionally attuned we felt as kids—and they often show up in how we connect as adults.

The Big Four:

• Secure: I trust love. I can ask for what I need and give others room to do the same.

• Anxious: I crave closeness but constantly fear you’ll leave me. I over-function, overthink, and overextend.

• Avoidant: I pull away when things get too close. I value independence over vulnerability.

• Disorganized: I want love, but I fear it. I push-pull. I get overwhelmed. I haven’t learned what safe love feels like.

Sound familiar? Let’s bring it to life—with the help of Michael, Jim, Pam, and the rest of the gang.

Pam Beesly – Anxious (Evolving Toward Secure)

In the early seasons, Pam is polite, people-pleasing, and stuck in a relationship that doesn’t really nourish her. She hesitates to speak up, downplays her needs, and often puts others’ comfort above her own.

Textbook anxious attachment.

But here’s the beauty of Pam—she grows. She takes risks. She learns to honor her creative voice, advocate for herself, and let real love in. Her relationship with Jim starts to reflect more secure dynamics as she steps into her own worth.

🛋️ What she might explore in therapy: Boundary work, self-trust, and learning that she doesn’t have to shrink to be loved.

Jim Halpert – Avoidant (with a Tender Heart)

Jim is charming, sarcastic, and deeply uncomfortable with emotional vulnerability. He’s got that classic cool exterior, but when it comes to hard conversations? He shuts down or deflects.

He holds Pam at a distance for years—and even when they get together, he still has moments where he prioritizes personal ambition over emotional connection (cue the Philly storyline).

🛋️ What he might work on in therapy: Naming his emotional needs, allowing others to truly know him, and realizing that real intimacy requires presence—not just protection.

Michael Scott – Disorganized Attachment (with Big Inner Child Energy)

Oh, Michael. His need to be loved is so intense—and yet his behaviors often sabotage the very connection he craves.

One minute he’s smothering someone with attention (love-bombing), and the next he’s pulling away or acting out. He’s desperate for closeness but terrified of rejection—classic disorganized attachment. And underneath all of it? Likely some deep abandonment wounds.

🛋️ In therapy, we’d explore: Early emotional neglect, self-worth not based on approval, and creating safe, reciprocal relationships that aren’t built on performance.

Dwight Schrute – Avoidant (But Loyal to the Core)

Dwight values order, rules, and not talking about feelings. He struggles with emotional closeness but is also one of the most loyal and protective characters on the show.

He’s avoidant in his emotional expression, but you can feel the depth of his care—especially with Angela, and yes, even with Michael.

🛋️ What he might learn in therapy: That emotional safety doesn’t compromise strength—and that vulnerability is an act of courage.

Angela Martin – Disorganized (Anxious-Avoidant Blend)

Angela shows affection through control and judgment. She’s anxious beneath the surface (her attachment to Dwight proves that), but her emotional expression often comes out as rigidity or passive aggression.

She wants closeness but is terrified of being seen.

🛋️ Therapy focus? Healing shame, softening defenses, and learning how to communicate emotional needs directly (without hiding behind the cat calendar).

Holly Flax – Secure (Our Emotional MVP)

Holly is everything Michael needs: consistent, warm, boundaried, emotionally intelligent. She sees his awkwardness and meets it with compassion—not criticism.

She’s not perfect, but she’s a walking example of secure attachment—able to both express herself and hold space for others.

🛋️ In therapy, Holly might reflect on: Balancing support for others with self-care and ensuring she doesn’t play the fixer role long-term.

Kelly Kapoor – Anxious-Preoccupied (and Drama-Loving)

Kelly is loud, lovable, and extremely anxious in love. Her relationship with Ryan is a masterclass in emotional rollercoasters. She thrives on attention and fears abandonment—and she uses chaos to stay connected.

🛋️ Therapy goals for Kelly: Learning how to self-soothe, separate her worth from romantic attention, and create calmer relationships that don’t rely on crisis.

Ryan Howard – Avoidant (With a Dash of Narcissism)

Ryan is emotionally unavailable, image-focused, and often dismissive. He keeps Kelly close enough for his ego, but far enough to avoid real intimacy.

Underneath? Likely insecurity, fear of failure, and emotional disconnection.

🛋️ In therapy, Ryan might explore: Emotional responsibility, empathy, and healing whatever makes him feel like closeness is a threat.

Final Thoughts from a Therapist

The Office is full of over-the-top characters—but what makes them so lovable is how real their emotional struggles feel. We’ve all had a little Michael Scott in us. We’ve all protected our hearts like Jim. We’ve all feared being “too much” like Kelly—or not enough like Pam.

And the good news? Just like them, we can grow.

Attachment styles aren’t life sentences. They’re starting points for awareness—and therapy is one of the best places to explore yours.

So whether you’re anxious, avoidant, disorganized, or learning to lean into secure connection, you’re not alone.

And you don’t have to navigate your emotional world without a little help. That’s what we’re here for.