The Best Couples Therapy Books to Strengthen Your Relationship
Read together. Laugh, learn, maybe cry a little—but mostly grow.
Relationships are a beautiful mix of love, chaos, routine, and those “Did you seriously just say that?” moments. And while therapy is an incredible place to work through the hard stuff, sometimes you just want something you can curl up with—together or solo—that helps you make sense of it all.
Books can’t replace therapy, but they can help you talk about things you’ve been avoiding, understand each other better, and even bring some fun and curiosity back into your connection.
So, if you’re wondering where to start, here’s a list of my favorite relationship books—ones I recommend often to the couples I work with. They’re insightful, honest, and full of those “oh wow, that’s us” moments.
1. Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson
For couples who feel distant and want to get back on the same emotional page.
This one’s a classic for a reason. It’s not about surface-level fixes—it’s about why we get stuck in those endless arguments or awkward silences, and how to move back toward each other. If you’ve ever thought, “Why do we keep having the same fight?”—this one’s for you.
How to read it: Slowly, together. Even just a chapter a week can open up big conversations.
2. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by Dr. John Gottman
For couples who want tools they can actually use (without needing a PhD to understand them).
This book is like a relationship toolkit. It’s packed with exercises, real-life examples, and bite-sized insights you can try out right away. If you love checklists, activities, or want to keep things practical—start here.
Pro tip: The “Love Maps” exercise is a fun one to do on a weekend date night.
3. Attached by Amir Levine & Rachel Heller
For couples who want to understand their emotional patterns (and maybe stop triggering each other).
Ever wonder why you need constant reassurance—or why your partner shuts down when things get hard? That’s your attachment style talking. This book breaks it all down in a simple, non-shaming way that makes a lot of things finally make sense.
Heads up: You’ll probably want to text your therapist after reading it. That’s normal.
4. Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel
For couples who feel close... but not always that close anymore.
This book is spicy in the best way. It talks about how long-term love and passion can feel like they’re working against each other—and how to change that. It’s bold, poetic, and full of eye-opening moments about sex, desire, and intimacy.
Warning: You may want to discuss it with a glass of wine and an open mind.
5. The State of Affairs by Esther Perel
For couples working through betrayal, or anyone rethinking what commitment really means.
This book isn’t just about cheating—it’s about what infidelity can teach us about love, identity, and growth. It’s compassionate, nuanced, and deeply human.
Good for: Reading solo if you’re not sure how to talk about betrayal—or together, if you’re ready to unpack things in a safe, honest way.
6. Us by Terrence Real
For couples stuck in a cycle of blame, defensiveness, or power struggles.
Terry Real tells it like it is—but with heart. This book is about getting out of the “me vs. you” mindset and shifting into us. If things feel tense, reactive, or like you’re fighting more than loving—this one can help reset things.
Read it when: You’re ready to call yourselves out gently and grow stronger together.
7. Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski
For couples trying to figure out sex, desire, and what’s “normal.”
This is hands-down one of the most compassionate books on sexuality out there. It explains why sex can feel different (especially for women), why desire doesn’t always show up the way we expect, and how to stop blaming yourself or each other.
Bonus: There’s also a workbook, if you’re into that kind of thing.
8. Love Sense by Dr. Sue Johnson
For couples who want the science behind emotional connection—but written in a human, loving way.
This book is basically a love letter to attachment theory. It explains why we need secure connection, how to build it, and why we fall apart when it’s missing.
Great if: You like the idea of therapy but want to ease into it with something heart-centered and grounded in research.
9. The Relationship Cure by Dr. John Gottman & Dr. Joan DeClaire
For couples who want to stop missing each other’s emotional cues.
This one focuses on “bids”—those small moments when we reach out to connect. Responding to those bids (even with a simple “mmhmm” or eye contact) is the secret sauce of long-term love.
It’s full of: Lightbulb moments and little shifts that make a big difference.
10. How We Love by Milan & Kay Yerkovich
For couples who want to understand how childhood shows up in adult relationships.
This one goes deep. It explores your early experiences and how they shaped the way you connect (or disconnect) in love today. Think of it as a gentle dive into your emotional wiring—and how to rewire things that aren't working.
There’s a quiz: And you’ll probably want to read each other’s results out loud.
Don’t Stress—You Don’t Have to Read Them All
Pick one that speaks to where you are right now. You don’t have to finish it. You don’t even have to read it at the same pace. What matters is using it to spark connection, not perfection.
And if one of you doesn’t love reading? No problem. Try an audiobook together on a drive, or have one partner read and share highlights. There’s no “right” way to do this—just find what works for you.
Reading Helps—But Sometimes You Need More
Books can open your heart, shift your mindset, and give you powerful tools. But if you’re feeling stuck, misunderstood, or overwhelmed, therapy can help you go even deeper—and feel less alone while doing it.
Need support for your relationship? At Sagebrush Counseling, I offer virtual couples therapy across Texas. Whether you’re working through conflict, healing from a rough patch, or just want to reconnect, I’m here to help. Reach out and let’s talk about what’s next—for both of you.
