What Is Existential OCD (And Why It Feels So Overwhelming)

What If Nothing Is Real? (And Other Thoughts That Keep You Up at Night)

Ever found yourself stuck in a mental loop that starts with “What’s the point of life?” and spirals quickly into questions like “Am I even real?” or “How can anything exist instead of nothing?”

Most people have those thoughts now and then. But for people with existential OCD, these questions don’t just come and go — they take over.

If you’ve found yourself mentally spinning out with thoughts about life, death, purpose, reality, or the nature of consciousness itself, you’re not alone. And no, you’re not going crazy — you might just be dealing with a lesser-known form of OCD.

What Is Existential OCD?

Existential OCD is a subtype of obsessive-compulsive disorder that centers around deep, unanswerable questions. Unlike traditional OCD themes like contamination or symmetry, this flavor of OCD latches onto philosophical uncertainties — the kind that can’t be solved with logic or reassurance.

You might find yourself obsessively asking:

• What is the meaning of life?

• What happens after death?

• What if I don’t really exist?

• What if none of this is real?

• What if I never feel “normal” again?

These aren’t just passing curiosities. With existential OCD, the questions become persistent, anxiety-inducing, and feel impossible to let go. They often show up alongside derealization or depersonalization — a kind of emotional numbness or disconnection from your surroundings or even your own sense of self.

Why This Feels So Terrifying

What makes existential OCD so disorienting is that it hijacks the very act of thinking. It’s not just “I’m scared of something bad happening.” It’s “I’m scared because everything I thought I knew might be a lie, and now I can’t unsee it.”

For many people, the trigger is something like a panic attack, a mental health crisis, or a period of derealization. That shift in perception can open a door you didn’t know existed — and suddenly you’re flooded with questions that feel too big to carry.

One person described it like this:
“It feels like I’ve unplugged from life itself. Like I’m just watching a screen and not actually in the world. No matter what I do, it just feels like I’m distracting myself from some big, awful truth about existence.”

Sound familiar?

Why You Can’t Think Your Way Out of This

When something feels off, our natural instinct is to try to fix it. But with existential OCD, your brain wants an answer to something that doesn’t have one. That’s what makes it so exhausting.

You may try Googling for philosophical answers, diving into Reddit threads, reading spiritual texts, or asking for reassurance from friends. And maybe it works — for a minute. But then the next question shows up, and you’re back to square one.

That’s the OCD loop. You feel anxious, you seek certainty, you get temporary relief… and then the cycle starts again.

What Recovery Looks Like

Here’s the good news: this is treatable. Really. Even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.

The most evidence-based therapy for existential OCD is Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). In ERP, you gently expose yourself to the distressing thoughts without trying to “solve” them. Over time, your brain learns that it can tolerate uncertainty — even about the biggest questions in life.

Examples of ERP for existential OCD might include:

• Listening to a recording that says, “Maybe none of this is real.”

• Writing the sentence “Life has no meaning” over and over until it feels boring instead of scary.

• Watching a philosophical film that triggers your thoughts (like Inception or The Matrix) and resisting the urge to analyze it afterward.

This may sound strange — even terrifying — but it works. Over time, the goal is not to feel certain, but to feel okay without certainty.

Supporting Your Nervous System

Existential OCD often comes with a side of dissociation, anxiety, or depression. That’s where somatic tools can help. Practices like breathwork, grounding techniques, yoga, and nervous system regulation can gently bring you back into your body when your thoughts feel too overwhelming.

One person described it this way:
“My therapist said I was stuck in a ‘freeze’ state. Learning how to feel safe again in my body — even just by moving, stretching, or breathing — made more of a difference than trying to argue with the thoughts.”

It’s Not About Finding the Answer — It’s About Living Without One

You don’t need to solve the mysteries of existence to live a meaningful life.

In fact, some of the people who have recovered from existential OCD say that their healing came not from “figuring it all out,” but from learning to be present with what is — right here, right now.

They go for walks. They laugh with their friends. They cry when they need to. They return to the things that matter, not because they’ve found the answer to everything, but because they’ve accepted that some questions can stay open — and that’s okay.

Therapy When You’re Over Thinking

If you’re struggling with existential OCD, here’s what I want you to know:

• You are not broken.

• This isn’t a permanent way of thinking.

• You don’t need to figure it all out to get better.

• Help is out there, and you are absolutely not alone.

If you’re looking for support, working with a therapist who specializes in OCD and ERP can be life-changing. Healing might not mean going back to who you were before — it might mean growing into someone who can carry uncertainty with grace.

And maybe, just maybe… that’s enough.