10 Signs You’re Dealing with a Fake Friend
Are They Your Friend? Here’s How to Tell (and What to Do If They’re Not)
Let’s talk about fake friends. Not in a dramatic, callout kind of way — just real talk. Because nothing stings quite like realizing someone you’ve laughed with, vented to, and made plans with... isn’t treating you like a real friend.
And if you’ve felt that weird pit in your stomach around someone lately — like something’s off, but you can’t quite name it — this post is for you.
10 Subtle Signs You Might Be Dealing with a Fake Friend
They only reach out when they need something.
Help moving? Need a ride? Want to borrow your stuff? Yep — you’re their go-to. But when you need support? Crickets.They expect you to respect their boundaries… but ignore yours.
You’re walking on eggshells trying not to upset them — but when you set a boundary? Suddenly you’re “too sensitive.”They’re totally different around other people.
Nice when it’s just the two of you, but weirdly distant or sarcastic when you're in a group? You’re not imagining it.You're always the one texting first.
If you stopped reaching out, would you ever hear from them again?They never ask about your life.
Like, do they even know what you’ve been up to? Or does every convo circle back to them?You feel emotionally wiped after hanging out.
Good friends leave you feeling lighter. Fake ones? Heavier.They flake. A lot.
Everyone cancels sometimes. But if they’re always too busy, but somehow have time for everyone else? Yeah.They trash-talk other people… a lot.
If they talk that way about others, chances are they do it about you too.They’re MIA when you’re struggling.
Real friends show up. Fake ones disappear when you’re no longer fun.You feel lonelier with them than without them.
If hanging out makes you feel small, unimportant, or invisible — trust that feeling.
Okay... So Now What?
Finding out someone isn’t who you thought they were? That’s hard. And honestly, it can mess with your head. You might wonder, Did I do something wrong? Am I too much? Am I not enough?
Cue the spiral.
But listen — friendships matter. Losing one hurts, even if it was never that great to begin with. It’s still a loss. It’s still grief. And it deserves your attention.
How Therapy Can Help You Heal from Fake Friends
At Sagebrush Counseling, we hear this all the time: “It wasn’t a breakup... but it kind of feels like one.”
Because guess what? It was a breakup — just not the romantic kind. And that pain you're feeling? It’s real.
Friendship therapy (yes, that’s a thing!) gives you a safe space to talk about what happened — without judgment or second-guessing yourself. You get to unpack the guilt, the self-doubt, the weird mix of relief and sadness... all of it.
Here’s how counseling can help if you’ve been burned by fake friends:
You get to process the loss. You don't have to minimize it or pretend it didn’t matter.
You can rebuild your confidence. Fake friends can chip away at your self-esteem without you realizing it. Therapy helps you find your voice again.
You’ll learn to trust yourself more. Ever ignored your gut because you didn’t want to “overreact”? Therapy helps you listen to that gut feeling and trust it.
You can stop repeating the pattern. If you keep attracting one-sided friendships, there may be deeper stuff going on — and therapy can help you figure it out.
The bottom line? You’re allowed to want deep, real, mutual friendships. You’re allowed to outgrow people. And you’re allowed to grieve what you thought you had.
You Deserve Better
If you’ve been stuck in a friendship that feels more draining than nourishing, you don’t have to stay. You’re not “too much.” You’re not being dramatic. You’re just growing — and sometimes that means outgrowing people who can’t grow with you.
And hey, if you need someone to talk it through with, we’re here. At Sagebrush Counseling, we help people navigate the messy, painful, and totally normal parts of friendship and identity — without shame.
Friendship breakups are real. But healing is too.
