10 Signs You Might Be Experiencing Gaslighting at Work
(And What You Can Do to Feel Like Yourself Again)
You’ve been feeling off at work.
You’re second-guessing yourself more than usual.
You walk away from meetings thinking, Wait… wasn’t that what they just said?
You check emails twice, three times, and still feel anxious after you hit “send.”
You start to wonder:
Is it me? Or is something actually wrong here?
If you’re asking that question, you’re not alone.
And you’re not being dramatic.
You might be experiencing gaslighting at work—a sneaky form of emotional manipulation that messes with your memory, your confidence, and your ability to trust your own experience.
Let’s break it down together. I’ll walk you through 10 signs to look for, some real-life examples, and what you can do if work has started to feel like a place where you’re shrinking more than growing.
First, What Even Is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting is when someone tries to make you doubt your own memory, instincts, or reality.
It’s not just disagreement—it’s that you’re crazy, dramatic, or wrong undertone that sticks with you and makes you question your own truth.
And yes, it can happen at work—quietly, professionally, and in ways that leave you walking out of the office (or logging off Zoom) wondering what the heck just happened.
Here Are 10 Signs You Might Be Getting Gaslit at Work
1. You keep hearing: “That’s not what happened.”
You know what was said.
You took notes. You read the email twice.
And yet—your manager or colleague insists they never said that or you must be misremembering.
Even when you’re 99% sure you’re right, you still walk away feeling confused.
Why this matters: Being constantly told you’re wrong (especially when you’re not) wears you down. It makes you stop trusting your own memory.
What to try: Quietly start documenting. Keep emails. Jot down what was said and when. This isn’t about “gotcha” proof—it’s about protecting your sense of reality.
2. You always end up being “the problem” somehow.
You raise a concern, and suddenly you’re “not a team player.”
You say no to extra work, and now you’re “not committed enough.”
You bring up how something felt off, and you’re “too sensitive.”
This is gaslighting’s favorite trick—flipping the script.
Instead of talking about the thing that’s not okay, the focus becomes you.
Sound familiar?
That’s not feedback. That’s manipulation.
3. You’re left out of key info—and then blamed for not knowing it.
You didn’t get the email.
You weren’t invited to the meeting.
You didn’t hear about the deadline.
And somehow… it’s your fault?
That’s a setup. And it’s a classic sign of gaslighting at work.
What to watch for: Patterns where you’re left in the dark, then put on the spot or made to feel incompetent. It’s not clumsiness—it’s control.
4. Your wins are ignored, but your mistakes are magnified.
You nailed a project, stayed late, helped someone out.
Barely a word.
But the one typo in that email? Or that meeting you were late to once?
Suddenly that’s the whole story.
Gaslighting creates a loop where nothing is ever quite good enough—so you work harder, hoping to be seen… and stay stuck.
Hint: Healthy workplaces acknowledge the whole picture, not just your slip-ups.
5. You apologize. A lot.
Even when it’s not your fault. Even when you’ve done nothing wrong.
“Sorry for the delay” when it’s been 20 minutes.
“Sorry if I misunderstood” when they weren’t clear in the first place.
“Sorry for speaking up.”
Over-apologizing isn’t a personal flaw. It’s often a trauma response.
If work has made you feel like you’re always in trouble—or always almost in trouble—it makes total sense that your nervous system would default to keeping the peace.
Start noticing when you say sorry. You might not need to.
6. You’re screenshotting everything, just in case.
You’re saving emails. Writing everything down. Following up in writing because you don’t trust what was said verbally.
You don’t even know why you feel the need to document everything, but you just… do.
Let me say this clearly:
That’s not paranoia. That’s your body responding to an environment that doesn’t feel emotionally safe.
You’re trying to protect yourself. That’s wise.
7. Work feels harder than it should—even when nothing dramatic is happening.
You dread Monday.
Your stomach tightens before meetings.
You feel exhausted after just a few hours.
And when you try to explain it to someone, you sound vague—even to yourself.
That’s the nature of gaslighting. It’s subtle. Quiet. Confusing. But your body feels the shift long before your mind catches up.
If you’re feeling worn down, foggy, anxious, or like you’re walking on eggshells constantly… something is off.
And that “something” deserves your attention.
8. Your boundaries are treated like you’re being difficult.
You ask not to be messaged after 6pm—and the texts still come.
You speak up about your workload—and get brushed off with “We’re all stressed.”
You take a vacation—and return to comments like, “Must be nice.”
Boundaries aren’t a threat. But in gaslight-heavy environments, they’re treated that way.
You are allowed to have needs. You are allowed to rest. You are allowed to say “not right now.”
9. You start wondering if you’re the toxic one.
This one hurts.
You used to feel confident.
Now, you overthink everything. You reread your emails. You wonder if you’re the one making too much out of nothing.
That constant self-doubt? It’s not your personality—it’s a response to being invalidated over and over again.
Gaslighting chips away at your self-trust.
Until one day you look around and wonder how you got so small.
10. You’ve thought about leaving, but feel too drained to even try.
You daydream about quitting.
You scroll job boards late at night.
You imagine a life where work doesn’t make you feel this way.
But the actual steps? The resume, the interviews, the explaining yourself again?
It all feels too heavy.
That’s not laziness. That’s burnout.
Gaslighting can keep you stuck by draining your energy, your hope, and your belief that a healthier workplace even exists.
But it does.
So What Do You Do If You’re Being Gaslit at Work?
Let’s be real: calling it out directly might not help—especially if it’s coming from a person with power. You don’t owe anyone a confrontation to prove your awareness.
What you can do:
1. Quietly document everything.
Emails, dates, meeting notes, your feelings. Keep a private record, just for you.
This helps anchor you when you start to feel unsteady again.
2. Talk to someone you trust.
A friend, a mentor, a therapist. Someone who will listen without brushing it off.
Validation helps you breathe again.
3. Set small, manageable boundaries.
Even if they won’t change, you can.
Maybe it’s not answering messages after hours.
Maybe it’s not jumping to reply immediately.
Maybe it’s just taking a few deep breaths before you respond.
Start somewhere. These micro-boundaries matter.
4. Remember: You’re not imagining this.
If your gut is whispering something isn’t right, listen to it.
Your body is wise. Your mind is tired. You don’t have to keep doubting yourself just because someone else wants you to.
Final Thought: You Are Not Overreacting
If you’re being gaslit at work, it’s okay to feel confused. It’s okay to be tired.
And it’s absolutely okay to want out.
But before anything else—just know this:
You are allowed to trust yourself.
You are allowed to say, “That didn’t feel okay.”
You are allowed to want more than just surviving your job.
You’re not weak for feeling broken. You’re strong for still showing up.
And you deserve work that doesn’t make you question your worth every day.
Want Support Navigating a Toxic Workplace?
I offer virtual therapy across Texas for professionals, students, and anyone struggling with burnout, manipulation, workplace trauma, and self-doubt.
If you’re ready to get grounded again—to feel confident, clear, and like yourself—I’m here to help.
Book a free consultation today. Let’s help you reconnect to your inner clarity and create a way forward.
