How to Stop Overthinking After Being Cheated On

There’s no easy way to say it: being cheated on hurts. It's a punch to the gut, a betrayal of trust, and a crash course in heartbreak you didn’t ask to take. It can leave you feeling hollow, confused, and wondering if any of it—your relationship, your memories, your instincts—was even real.

So, what now?

Whether you found out yesterday or months ago, healing after infidelity is a process. A messy, non-linear, deeply personal process. But you’re not alone, and you will get through this.

We pulled together stories, wisdom, and unfiltered advice from real people who’ve walked this road—and made it out stronger. Here are 20 ways to start healing after being cheated on.

1. Cut contact (for real)

Unfollow. Mute. Delete the number. Block the “just friends” person they swore was nothing. You don’t need to do it in anger—but you do need peace. Distance isn’t petty. It’s healing.

2. Grieve like it’s a real loss (because it is)

You didn’t just lose a partner—you lost a version of your future. Cry, write, scream into a pillow. Let yourself fall apart if you need to. That’s not weakness. That’s processing.

3. Don’t rush into dating

You don’t need to “move on” overnight. Give yourself space to figure out who you are without them before jumping into anything new. Rebounds can feel good—for about five minutes.

4. Get brutally honest with yourself

Were you ignoring red flags? Were you afraid to be alone? Did you start shrinking to fit what they needed? None of this means the cheating was your fault—but it might show you where your healing begins.

5. Move your body

Not for revenge. Not to become “hotter” so they’ll regret it. Move your body for you. Hit the gym, start yoga, take long walks. Moving forward physically can help you move forward emotionally.

6. Talk it out

Not to everyone—but to someone safe. A close friend. A sibling. A therapist. Keeping it all inside won’t protect you; it just isolates you.

7. Build a new routine

Infidelity tends to disrupt everything—your sleep, your habits, your sense of self. Reclaim your days with structure. Wake up early, go to the gym, take a walk, cook your meals. Rituals help rebuild you.

8. Set fire to the things that don’t serve you (figuratively…or not)

One person said burning their ex’s stuff felt amazing. You don’t need to go full bonfire mode, but you can clear out texts, photos, gifts—anything keeping you stuck.

9. Let go of the fantasy

You weren’t just mourning who they were. You were mourning who you thought they were. Letting go of that illusion is part of the healing, too.

10. Redefine what love looks like to you

Was love keeping you on edge? Was it filled with anxiety, doubt, or proving your worth? What if love could feel calm, secure, and mutual? Write down what real love will look like moving forward.

11. Be single—and own it

Don’t just tolerate being single. Learn to enjoy it. Try new things. Go out solo. Travel. Read more. Date yourself for a while. You’re the one person you’ll always be with—get to know you.

12. Channel your energy into something that lights you up

Start painting again. Train for a race. Learn a new language. Build something from scratch. Creation heals. Every time you pour your energy into something new, you're proving to yourself that life goes on.

13. Stop trying to “understand” why they did it

Cheaters cheat for their reasons. It might be insecurity, entitlement, or avoidance—but none of those reasons make it your fault. Closure isn’t found in their explanation—it’s found in your healing.

14. Reconnect with people who actually care

Whether it’s family dinners, game nights with friends, or just texting your sibling back, now’s the time to lean into people who already love you. Real connection reminds you of your value.

15. Don’t carry the pain into your next relationship

Easier said than done—but being aware of your patterns and fears is the first step. If you catch yourself being hypervigilant, talk about it with your therapist or partner. Healing doesn’t mean perfection. It means awareness.

16. Ask yourself what this relationship taught you

Not just about them—but about you. About your capacity to love. About the parts of you that deserve protection. About what you’ll never settle for again.

17. Know that jealousy isn’t the same as intuition

After betrayal, every little thing can feel suspicious. You’re not crazy—but you might be triggered. Learn the difference between gut instincts and anxious patterns. (Therapy helps here.)

18. Do the things you couldn’t when you were with them

Was there something they always complained about or shut down? A hobby? A trip? A version of you that never got to exist? Now’s the time to go live that life.

19. Let yourself not be okay for a while

You don’t have to be over it. You don’t have to be “thriving.” You can be messy, angry, weepy, confused. That’s real. That’s valid. And it will pass.

20. Remind yourself of this: It’s their loss

They chose to betray something sacred. You didn’t lose your worth—they lost access to it. You’re not broken. You’re rebuilding. And that version of you? She’s going to be stronger than ever.

Therapy for When You Were Cheated On

Getting over infidelity isn’t about pretending it didn’t happen. It’s about moving through it—messily, imperfectly, honestly—and becoming someone who loves and protects themselves better than before.

If you’re hurting right now, you’re allowed to be. But you’re also allowed to dream about what comes next. Because what’s ahead might be more beautiful than you ever imagined.