Narrative Therapy in Couples Counseling
Narrative therapy is a type of modality that is often used in individual counseling but what about couples therapy? Here we will explore the topic of narrative therapy, what is it and how it can be used in couples counseling sessions.
Have you ever felt like the story of your life doesn’t match up with you or doesn’t quite fit with who you want to be? Narrative therapy may be right for you. Narrative therapy gives the approach of a fresh start, a new narrative and a tool for personal growth and healing. Developed by Michael White and David Epston, narrative therapy is the story we tell ourselves and others.
“The problem is the problem, the person is not the problem.” – Michael White and David Epston
What is Narrative Therapy?
Narrative therapy is a lot like reading a book, some parts are good, some bad and some you wish they weren’t there. If you imagine your life in the same way as a book, reflecting on your belief systems, childhood, patterns, etc throughout each chapter a new theme may emerge. Narrative therapy gives you the opportunity and become the author of your story. It is a very empowering type of therapy. When the plot of your book becomes oppressive, this is where rewriting may take place. If you imagine flipping through the pages of a rough draft, taking the parts of the book you want to rewrite, edit and revise.
The Power of Stories
Stories have power to move you. Narrative therapy is about understanding the influential nature of stories and their power over our lives. Feeling trapped in a story that doesn’t align with who you are or what you want in life, for instance, feeling betrayed or not being in the right job.
Externalizing the Problem
To understand narrative therapy in action, knowing that it is “externalizing” the problem (first) Instead of seeing the problem as part of who you are, you view it as something separate. For example, if your partner cheats, you may think of them cheating as a failed relationship or something you did wrong causing this betrayal. By shifting your mindset, you can view the problem with a fresh take as an outsider looking in instead of an insider looking out.
Deconstructing and Rewriting
Next, narrative therapy involves “deconstructive questioning.” This phase is about rewriting what no longer serves you. In the context of couples counseling, rewriting a story that fits and aligns with you both instead of the one that existed before.
Mapping the Problem Out
Once you’ve separated the problem from your identity, you start mapping out how the problem affects your life and relationships. This is where you look for outcomes that are outside the problem and a creative way to view a problem.
Creative a New Narrative
Now your story is created that aligns with your values and your partner together. What is your new narrative and what is the type of relationship you want to be in?
Narrative Therapy in Couples Sessions
Narrative therapy empowers couples to rewrite their story. By looking at the problem externally and both people in the relationship rewriting their story, can bring a new light to the relationship that didn’t exist before.
FAQS on Narrative Therapy Used in Couples Counseling
How does narrative therapy differ from other couples counseling approaches?
Narrative therapy gives a couple a way to rewrite their story together, this is unlike other approaches. By creating new, positive stories about the relationship it brings a new perspective.
What are some common issues in couples that narrative counseling can help with?
If you think of the questions, what causes us to fight? Why do we have a hard time communicating? Most of the issues are underlying conflict, betrayal, communication issues among others that narrative therapy can be used. It also can be used in conjunction with other modalities in an eclectic approach. It is commonly used with modalities such as Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT).
