What to Do If You or Your Partner Has No Interest in Sex Anymore

When Intimacy Fades: Understanding What’s Happening

It’s not uncommon for couples to go through periods of low sexual desire, but when one or both partners consistently lose interest in sex, it can create tension, confusion, and emotional distance.

You might be asking:

• Is this normal, or is something wrong with our relationship?

• Why has my (or my partner’s) libido changed?

• How do we reconnect when intimacy feels forced or distant?

Loss of sexual interest doesn’t mean a relationship is doomed, but it does require understanding, patience, and effort to restore connection. This guide explores the common reasons for low libido, how to talk about it with your partner, and practical steps to rekindle intimacy.

Why One or Both Partners Lose Interest in Sex

Low sexual desire can happen for a variety of reasons—some physical, some emotional, and some relational. Identifying the root cause is key to finding a solution.

1. Stress, Anxiety, and Mental Health Struggles

When life feels overwhelming, sex often takes a backseat. Stress from work, financial worries, or family responsibilities can drain mental and physical energy, making intimacy feel like another task rather than a source of pleasure.

Mental health challenges like anxiety or depression can also lead to a decreased sex drive. If either partner is struggling emotionally, addressing overall well-being first is crucial.

2. Relationship Issues and Emotional Disconnection

Sexual intimacy is often linked to emotional connection. If there are unresolved conflicts, frequent arguments, or feelings of distance, desire can fade.

Signs that relationship strain is affecting your sex life:
✔ Conversations feel transactional rather than emotionally engaging.
✔ You no longer express affection through touch, compliments, or quality time.
✔ There’s unspoken resentment, even if it’s not openly discussed.

If emotional closeness has diminished, rebuilding connection outside the bedroom is essential before physical intimacy can improve.

3. Medical and Hormonal Changes

Certain health conditions and hormonal changes can reduce libido in both men and women. Some common causes include:
✔ Hormonal shifts due to pregnancy, postpartum, menopause, or aging.
✔ Chronic illnesses such as diabetes, thyroid disorders, or heart disease.
✔ Side effects of medications (including antidepressants and birth control).

If medical factors may be contributing to low desire, a doctor or specialist can help explore solutions.

4. Changes in Body Image and Self-Esteem

Feeling insecure about one’s body can impact confidence and willingness to be intimate. If weight changes, aging, or medical conditions have altered self-perception, one partner may withdraw from intimacy due to discomfort or self-consciousness.

Encouraging open conversations about body image and self-acceptance can help rebuild confidence and closeness.

5. Sexual Routine Has Become Boring or Predictable

For long-term couples, repetition can diminish excitement in the bedroom. If intimacy has become predictable or lacks emotional depth, one or both partners may gradually lose interest.

Exploring new ways to connect and introducing variety into intimacy can reignite passion and interest.

How to Talk to Your Partner About Low Sexual Desire

Discussing intimacy issues can feel uncomfortable, but avoiding the topic only leads to frustration and distance. Here’s how to approach the conversation with care:

1. Choose the Right Moment

Rather than bringing up concerns in the heat of the moment or during intimacy, find a calm, private setting where both of you can talk without distractions.

2. Express Concerns Without Blame

Instead of saying:
❌ “You never want to have sex anymore.”

Try:
✔ “I’ve noticed that our intimacy has changed, and I want to understand how you’re feeling about it.”

3. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Encourage your partner to share their perspective by asking:
✔ “Is there anything that’s been making intimacy feel difficult for you?”
✔ “How do you feel about our connection lately?”
✔ “Is there anything I can do to help us feel closer?”

4. Listen Without Judgment

If your partner opens up about personal struggles, body image issues, stress, or emotional concerns, validate their feelings instead of jumping to solutions.

✔ “I appreciate you sharing that with me. I had no idea you were feeling this way.”
✔ “I want to support you in whatever way you need.”

5. Work Toward Solutions Together

Instead of focusing on the lack of intimacy, focus on how to rebuild closeness. The goal isn’t just to fix sex—it’s to reconnect emotionally and physically in a way that feels comfortable for both of you.

Ways to Rebuild Intimacy and Connection

If you and your partner are struggling with low sexual desire, these steps can help create a stronger emotional and physical bond.

1. Prioritize Emotional Intimacy First

Before sex can improve, there needs to be a foundation of emotional closeness. Spend time strengthening your non-sexual connection by:
✔ Having deeper conversations beyond daily routines.
✔ Expressing affection in small ways (hugs, kisses, hand-holding).
✔ Doing activities together that create shared joy and laughter.

When couples feel emotionally connected, physical intimacy often follows more naturally.

2. Take the Pressure Off Sex

If intimacy has become a source of stress, shift the focus away from intercourse and instead explore:
✔ Cuddling or physical touch without expectation.
✔ Exploring sensual massage or relaxation together.
✔ Rediscovering flirting and playful interactions.

By creating a low-pressure environment, partners can feel more relaxed and open to intimacy.

3. Address Underlying Medical or Psychological Factors

If hormones, medication, stress, or mental health concerns are impacting libido, seeking medical or therapeutic support can make a difference.

✔ A doctor can assess hormonal imbalances or medical conditions affecting desire.
✔ A therapist can help work through emotional barriers and stress-related concerns.

Taking a whole-person approach ensures that both physical and emotional factors are addressed.

4. Create New Experiences Together

Breaking out of routine can reignite excitement and desire in a relationship. Consider:
✔ Planning a weekend getaway for quality time.
✔ Trying a new hobby or activity together.
✔ Introducing novel experiences in intimacy that feel exciting and comfortable.

By stepping outside of routine, couples can rediscover attraction and connection in a fresh way.

5. Consider Couples Therapy for Deeper Relationship Work

If communication about intimacy feels difficult, or if unresolved issues are preventing closeness, couples therapy can provide a safe space to navigate challenges.

A therapist can help:
✔ Facilitate open, non-judgmental discussions about intimacy and needs.
✔ Identify underlying patterns or unspoken emotional wounds.
✔ Provide tools to rebuild trust, attraction, and connection.

Therapy isn’t just for “troubled” relationships—it’s a proactive step toward understanding and strengthening your partnership.

Final Thoughts: Rekindling Connection with Patience and Understanding

Loss of sexual desire doesn’t mean a relationship is broken—it means there’s an opportunity to reconnect in new ways.

✔ If you or your partner have lost interest in sex, start by understanding why it’s happening—whether due to stress, emotions, health, or relationship shifts.
✔ Open, non-judgmental communication is key to bridging the gap.
✔ Small, intentional efforts to build emotional and physical intimacy can lead to gradual improvement over time.

Every couple goes through seasons of change, but with understanding, effort, and support, intimacy can be rediscovered and strengthened.

Find Intimacy Therapy Support Through Sagebrush Counseling

If intimacy issues are causing stress in your relationship, Sage Counseling is here to help. We offer individual and couples therapy to help partners rebuild emotional closeness, improve communication, and explore solutions for a fulfilling intimate connection.

Reach out today to schedule a session and take the first step toward a stronger, healthier relationship.