10 Questions to Get to Know Yourself Better
Ever feel like you’re going through the motions but not really sure what’s driving you? Like you’re making choices, having conversations, doing all the things—but when you pause for a second, you realize you haven’t actually checked in with yourself in a while? Self-reflection is a way to come back to yourself. It’s not about figuring out some perfect, future version of you. It’s about getting curious about who you are right now.
These questions aren’t about having the “right” answers. They’re about understanding yourself better in this moment, as you are. No pressure, no expectations—just you, showing up for yourself.
1. What Are My Core Values?
Your values shape the way you move through the world—even if you don’t always realize it. They show up in what you stand for, what matters to you, and what feels “right” in your gut. But sometimes, we don’t stop to think about them. We just follow what we were taught or what we think we should believe.
Take a second to ask yourself:
What really matters to me?
When do I feel the most aligned with myself?
What’s something I wouldn’t compromise on, even if it was hard?
Your values don’t have to be perfect or fixed forever. Just notice what feels true to you right now.
2. What Makes Me Feel the Most Alive?
You know those moments when you’re fully present? Not thinking about the past, not stressing about what’s next—just in it? That’s what this question is about.
What makes me lose track of time?
When do I feel most connected to myself?
What’s something I do just because I love it, not because I "should"?
It doesn’t have to be a grand adventure or some deep passion. Maybe it’s laughing with a friend. Maybe it’s cooking, listening to music, or sitting in the sun. Those moments are clues.
3. How Do I Handle Stress and Conflict?
Stress happens. Conflict happens. How do you deal with it? Do you go quiet? Do you get defensive? Do you overthink every possible outcome?
When I’m overwhelmed, what do I usually do?
Do I communicate how I feel, or do I hold it in?
What actually helps me feel grounded when things get tough?
There’s no right or wrong way to handle stress, but if your default response leaves you feeling worse, maybe it’s time to try something different.
4. What Are My Biggest Strengths and Weaknesses?
You have things you’re naturally good at—things that feel easy, that people notice about you, that come naturally. And you also have areas where you struggle. And that’s okay. Owning both helps you move through life with more awareness.
What do people come to me for?
What do I feel confident in?
What’s something I avoid because I don’t feel great at it?
You don’t have to “fix” your weaknesses overnight. Just noticing them is a good place to start.
5. How Do I Define Success and Happiness?
Not the version of success you were told to chase. Not the one that looks good on paper. What actually feels meaningful to you?
What makes me feel accomplished?
When do I feel most content?
Am I chasing something because I want it—or because I think I should want it?
Success doesn’t have to be some big, impressive milestone. It can be feeling calm, feeling free, feeling like yourself.
6. What Are My Fears and How Do They Show Up in My Life?
Fear isn’t a bad thing—it’s part of being human. But sometimes, it keeps us from things we actually want.
What’s something I hesitate to do, even though I want to?
When fear shows up, how do I react?
Is there something I avoid because I don’t want to fail?
Fear isn’t going anywhere, but you can learn to recognize when it’s guiding you in the wrong direction.
7. What Kind of Relationships Feel Good to Me?
Not just romantic relationships—friendships, family, connections of all kinds. Some relationships leave you feeling full, safe, and understood. Others feel draining, forced, or like you’re always giving more than you’re getting.
Who in my life makes me feel good about myself?
Are there relationships that feel one-sided or heavy?
What do I need more (or less) of in my connections with people?
Pay attention to how you feel around people. That feeling is information.
8. How Do I Define My Purpose?
Purpose doesn’t have to be some big, life-changing thing. It’s not just about career or accomplishments—it’s about how you move through the world, what makes you feel like yourself, what gives your life meaning.
What do I love showing up for?
How do I impact the people around me?
What feels important to me right now?
Your purpose isn’t something you have to "find." You’re already living it in small ways, every day.
9. How Do I Talk to Myself?
That voice in your head? It matters. If you’re constantly criticizing yourself, doubting yourself, or replaying old mistakes, that self-talk becomes your reality.
Am I kind to myself when I mess up?
Do I encourage myself the way I would a friend?
What would change if I spoke to myself with more compassion?
The way you talk to yourself affects everything. You deserve to be on your own side.
10. What’s One Thing I Can Do Today to Feel More Like Myself?
This isn’t about some huge life shift. It’s about small, daily choices that bring you closer to yourself.
What’s something I enjoy that I haven’t made time for?
What’s one way I can check in with myself today?
If I could do anything right now, just for me, what would it be?
Self-discovery isn’t about getting somewhere. It’s about being present with yourself, paying attention, and making space for the things that matter.
Final Thoughts: Get to Know Yourself on a New Level
Getting to know yourself isn’t a one-time thing. You’re always changing, always growing. But asking yourself these questions—checking in, being curious, getting real with yourself—helps you move through life with more clarity and confidence.
Come back to these whenever you need a reset. And if you ever want support in the process, I’m here. Offering online counseling throughout the state of Texas.
