Thinking About IVF? Emotional Considerations That Deserve Space
Thinking About IVF?
For some, IVF feels like the next step in their fertility journey. For others, it’s a word they hoped would never come up. Either way, deciding whether or not to pursue IVF is deeply personal—and almost never simple.
I’m not a fertility specialist or an infertility therapist. But I do work with individuals and couples navigating emotionally complex seasons, and infertility is one of the experiences that shows up in the therapy room more often than most people realize.
And if you’re standing at the edge of this decision, wondering whether to take the next step—or if it’s even something you can do—you’re not alone. This post isn’t about what choice you “should” make. It’s about giving you space to slow down, reflect, and hear that your feelings are valid—no matter what you decide.
IVF Is More Than a Medical Process
On paper, IVF (in vitro fertilization) is a medical procedure—eggs are retrieved, fertilized in a lab, and then transferred to the uterus. But if you’ve ever even considered it, you know it’s so much more than steps and statistics.
For many people, IVF brings a mix of:
Hope and pressure
Grief and possibility
Guilt, anger, excitement, and fear—sometimes all in the same day
You may find yourself grieving what hasn’t happened yet while also trying to hold hope for what could be. You may feel misunderstood by loved ones, unsure what to tell your partner, or frustrated with your own body.
This is more than a decision—it’s a deeply human experience.
Questions You Might Be Sitting With
You don’t have to answer all of these right away. Sometimes just naming the questions is enough to start creating space for clarity.
1. Am I emotionally ready for what this could bring up?
You don’t need to feel “strong enough.” But it’s okay to ask: Do I have space in my life—and nervous system—for this process right now?
2. How are things between me and my partner (if I have one)?
IVF can add stress to a relationship. If one person is more ready than the other—or if you cope differently—those differences deserve space and compassion.
3. What do I need from my support system?
It’s okay to set boundaries around who you tell, what you share, or how often you want people checking in. You get to protect your peace.
4. Do I know where my own limits are?
For some, that means “I’ll try one round.” For others, it’s “I’ll take this one step at a time.” There’s no right answer, but it helps to begin thinking about what feels emotionally and financially sustainable.
If IVF Isn’t the Path You Choose, That’s Still a Valid Choice
Not everyone who hopes for a child ends up going through IVF. Some people stop after one round. Others realize their version of family will look different than what they expected. That shift is not failure—it’s a deeply personal, often painful process of reimagining what life and love can look like.
And if you’re navigating that—whether out loud or quietly—you deserve support too.
What Support Can Look Like Along the Way
As someone who supports people through big life transitions, I’ve seen firsthand how helpful it is to have safe, grounded space to process all the unknowns of IVF—without needing to justify your feelings or put on a brave face.
That support might look like:
Talking through fears and “what ifs” in therapy
Exploring the emotional toll of the physical process
Navigating relationship stress or decision-making pressure
Releasing self-blame, shame, or confusion that can arise during infertility
Making space for grief, even in the presence of hope
Whether or not IVF is part of your story, you’re allowed to be exactly where you are—uncertain, emotional, curious, overwhelmed, hopeful. All of it makes sense.
You Don’t Have to Decide Overnight
If you’re weighing IVF as an option, take your time. Let yourself ask questions without needing immediate answers. Let yourself feel the complexity. Let yourself be human.
You’re not behind. You’re not broken. And you don’t need to do this alone.
Looking for support as you navigate infertility, IVF decisions, or the emotional toll of family-building challenges? At Sagebrush Counseling, I offer virtual therapy for individuals and couples working through things such as infertility, relationship stress, and identity shifts. You don’t have to hold all of this on your own.
