Signs and Symptoms of Relationship Trauma
Relationships of any type, whether friendships, family, or intimate partnerships, can bring happiness and fulfillment to our lives. In relationship trauma, they become a source of pain from physical, emotional, or sexual abuse and create long-lasting mental health effects that can be damaging to our well-being. They are often the result of unhealthy and abusive relationships. Recognizing if you've experienced this trauma is the first step in the healing process. In this article, we will explore the types of relationship trauma, when to seek therapy, and ways to cope while you're healing from relationship trauma.
What is Relationship Trauma?
Relationship trauma can take on various forms. For some, it may look like physical or emotional abuse, and for others, it may stem from infidelity in a relationship. If you've experienced any trauma in your relationship, it can result in relationship trauma.
If any pattern of unhealthy behavior, such as abuse, manipulation, or neglect from our intimate partners, family, or friendships. Anywhere there is a relationship, it can occur. However, most of the time, relationship trauma is connected to our partnerships and intimate partners. For instance, if a narcissistic ex emotionally abused someone, they may have relationship trauma.
What is Post-traumatic Relationship Syndrome?
There isn't a formal diagnosis code for Post-traumatic relationship syndrome; however, PTSD is a diagnostic disorder in the DSM-5. Post-traumatic relationship syndrome is a condition that can form after someone experiences a traumatic or emotionally abusive relationship. Some of the symptoms of PTSD are shown to have similarities, such as trouble concentrating, being overly and easily startled, guilt, shame, and always being on guard as you're in fight or flight mode.
Common Signs of Post-Traumatic-Relationships Syndrome
If you’ve experienced a traumatic relationship, here are some signs to look out for.
Avoidance of anything that reminds you of the traumatic experience or ex
Difficulty trusting others and inability to form new relationships
Lack of interest in dating or sex
Low self-esteem and self-worth
Anxiety, stress and depression
Difficulty regulating emotions
Feeling numb
Self-blame and guilt
Difficulty setting firm boundaries
Fear of commitment to future partners
Flashbacks of the relationships
Easily startled and scared
Insomnia or trouble sleeping
Finding yourself easily triggered
Dysregulated parasympthetic nervous system
Who Can Help with Healing from PTRS?
When healing, it is important to seek help. Those who have endured relationship trauma shouldn’t have to struggle alone. At Sagebrush Counseling, we specialize in relationships and trauma and can help you while you’re processing and healing.
Here are some resources that can help you in your healing journey: (Please see below for links to resources of hotlines and support groups).
Therapy to guide you on your relationship trauma healing journey
Support groups to help you identify and receive support with others who have experienced relationship trauma. There are online support groups and support groups offered in-person. It can be a great way to connect with others and therapeutic
Hotlines for domestic violence or emotional abuse (see resources below for hotlines, direct links and numbers) If you or someone you know is in danger, please call 911.
Friends and family who support you. Having a support system who is there for you during this time is important for your mental health
The Impact of Relationship Trauma
After a person experiences trauma at any time, the effects are long-lasting by going to therapy, and having a support system while managing and dealing with the emotions that relationship trauma can have, such as shame, fear, guilt, anger, low self-worth or self-esteem, and ultimately, a feeling of being broken. It can also cause tremendous difficulty in regulating those hard-to-manage emotions such as anger or fear or getting caught up in the shame spiral. Additionally, relationship trauma, especially if you've experienced abuse of any kind, can make it difficult to experience intimacy with your future partners or with yourself.
Signs and Symptoms of Relationship Trauma
Difficulty Trusting Others
Having and maintaining health and trust is difficult after the emotional impact of relationship trauma. It can show up in various ways, such as fear of sex, intimacy, touch, inability to get into new relationships, and maintaining boundaries in current relationships.
Flashbacks and Intrusive Thoughts
Flashbacks can happen, mainly when triggered in a new situation or relationship. The distressing thoughts, flashbacks, or intrusive thoughts cause our nervous system to go haywire and unable to process reality. It can also cause physical manifestations like sweating, racing heartbeat, trouble breathing, and severe anxiety.
Avoiding Potentially Triggering Situations
After any trauma, and in this case, relationship trauma, avoiding events or people that remind you of the trauma you experienced can lead to isolation and loneliness.
Hyperviligance
Those who have experienced trauma are always "on" and can appear jumpy or uneasy. It is hard to regulate the nervous system when everything seems threatening.
Nightmares
Nightmares are a common symptom of PTSD and also in relationship trauma. They can be recurring and disturbing. In addition, someone may struggle with staying asleep or falling asleep. This could be from fear of having a nightmare or not wanting to be alone.
Emotional Numbness
Another common symptom is complete numbness, which may show up in many different ways. Numbing is a coping mechanism that allows you to shut down completely. It allows a person to shut down the tough and experience emotions such as anger, shame, sadness, despair, and emotional pain. People may have difficulty connecting with others and experiencing pleasure and joy by shutting down this way.
Low Self-Esteem or Self-Worth
Self-esteem and self-worth usually take a backseat when it comes to relationship trauma. For most individuals, their self-esteem is diminished after a traumatic event involving a relationship.
Self-Destructive Behaviors
To cope with the emotional pain, someone may engage in risky or unhealthy behaviors such as substance abuse, addictions, risky sex, or self-harm.
Panic Attacks
When flashbacks or intrusive thoughts happen, panic attacks can surface and surface very quickly. Seeking therapy to help with anxiety and panic attacks can be beneficial when coping and learning techniques and skills to implement to help with triggers causing panic attacks.
Shame
When someone experiences trauma, shame can make them feel isolated in a similar way avoidance can make someone feel. They may feel shameful for what happened and sometimes hold in the emotions around relationship trauma.
Seeking Therapy and Healing for Relationship Trauma
Support Groups
Support groups are a great way to get the help you need. Different support groups exist, including online support groups, in-person support groups, and hotlines/resources for traumatic relationships.
Self-Help Resources for Relationship Trauma
Suppose you can't attend an online support group and want help. In that case, we suggest relationship trauma books and workbooks to provide you with the tools you need to heal and work through relationship trauma. These can also be used in conjunction with therapy and are often suggested as an additional resource.
Therapy for Relationship Trauma in Texas
While working through relationship trauma, we can help at Sagebrush Counseling. With specialized training in relationships and trauma, we can help you work through these difficult times and hard-to-process emotions, being your supportive partner and helping you get through the tough times.
Shadow Work Journal Prompts for Relationship Trauma
Shadow work is a Jungian term for exploring the darker parts of ourselves and bringing to the surface the parts we may have denied or repressed. In IFS or parts work, the shadows can be considered exiles. Here are some journal prompts to explore your shadow parts and the parts that are hurting and healing while going through relationship trauma:
Are there any patterns that I notice repeating in my current relationships?
Is my self-esteem or self-worth hurting during this time?
What emotions are the most difficult to process?
Have I felt angry lately, and how should I express this anger?
Do I think I can trust others?
Do I feel safe with myself or in a relationship?
Do I have healthy coping skills or mechanisms? What are they?
Am I avoiding relationships because of the trauma that I experienced?
What boundaries should I set for myself?
How am I practicing self-compassion while working through healing myself from relationship trauma?
Getting the Help You Need
At Sagebrush Counseling, we are here to help you through your relationship traumas. The first step is scheduling a session. If you notice relationship trauma is causing harm to yourself or your current relationships, it might be time to seek help. If this post resonates with you and you're ready to make a change and move forward in a positive direction, give us a call and schedule a session today. You don't have to go through relationship trauma alone.
Additional Resources and Abuse Hotlines
If you’re in need of help now or in a crisis, use the resources provided below to seek help. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 911.
National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for confidential assistance from trained advocates.
RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673 to receive confidential support from a trained staff member at a local RAINN affiliate.
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 for support and assistance from a trained counselor.
