How to Talk to Your Teen or Young Adult About Starting Therapy

Mar 31

Written By A G

A Therapist’s Guide for Parents Feeling Stuck, Worried, or Just Not Sure Where to Begin

Parenting is a lifelong journey—one that doesn’t magically end when your child turns 18. In fact, for many families, the transition to adulthood is where things start to feel the most uncertain. Maybe your teen is pulling away emotionally. Maybe your college-aged child is overwhelmed and unmotivated. Or maybe your 20-something is still living at home and seems stuck, with no clear path forward.

Whatever the situation, if you’re reading this, chances are you’ve been thinking:

Would therapy help?
How do I even bring it up?
What if they shut down, get mad, or say no?
Is it too late? Too early? Too complicated?

First, take a breath. You’re not alone—and you’re not doing anything wrong by exploring this option. Therapy can be a powerful, life-changing tool for teens and young adults, especially when they’re facing transitions, emotional challenges, or just figuring out who they are in the world. But starting that conversation? It’s not always easy.

This guide is here to help.

Why Therapy Can Be So Helpful for Teens and Young Adults

The late teens through the twenties are full of massive life shifts—college decisions, identity development, first jobs, breakups, friendships that change, family roles that evolve. Add in things like anxiety, depression, ADHD, social comparison, or burnout from trying to “have it all figured out”—and it makes sense that young people feel overwhelmed.

Therapy can help by:

Offering a safe, neutral space to talk through thoughts without pressure
Helping them build coping tools, confidence, and clarity
Exploring identity, relationships, self-worth, and life direction
Creating a sense of autonomy and control during a time that feels chaotic
Supporting them in untangling things like perfectionism, shame, or people-pleasing

For parents, it’s also a way to take the emotional weight off your shoulders. You don’t have to play therapist at home. You get to go back to being their parent—and a therapist can support the rest.

Why It’s So Hard to Bring Up Therapy

Many parents feel anxious about initiating the conversation. You might fear pushing them away, getting a defensive response, or opening a can of worms you’re not sure how to manage.

Here are some reasons your hesitation is totally normal:

You’re worried they’ll take it as a criticism.
You’re unsure what they’re really going through.
You don’t want to push too hard—or not hard enough.
You’ve tried before and they weren’t open to it.
You’re emotionally exhausted and fear rejection.

Let’s break it down and walk through how to approach the topic in a way that feels more natural and less like a confrontation.

How to Start the Conversation

1. Lead With Curiosity, Not Control

Instead of telling your child what they need to do, try to open the door with gentle curiosity. You might say:

“I’ve noticed things seem heavy lately. How are you feeling about everything?”

“I wonder if talking to someone outside the family would help—it doesn’t have to be a big commitment, just a space to sort through some of what you’re carrying.”

This gives them room to reflect without feeling cornered.

2. Normalize Therapy

Many teens and young adults still carry the stigma that therapy is for people who are “broken” or in crisis. Normalize therapy by explaining that it’s not just for when something’s wrong—it’s also a tool for growth.

Try saying:

“Therapy doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It just means you’re human. Life is hard. Talking to someone who gets it can actually feel like a relief.”

If you’ve had therapy yourself, consider sharing that experience. Even a brief “I’ve gone to therapy and found it helpful when I was navigating tough stuff” can make a huge difference.

3. Give Them Autonomy

Young adults want independence. One of the fastest ways to get resistance is to treat therapy like a punishment or non-negotiable demand.

Instead, you can say:

“You don’t have to decide today. I just wanted to put it out there as an option.”

“Would it help if we looked together and you chose someone that feels like the right fit?”

Involving them in the process helps them feel empowered, not pressured.

4. Focus on Relief, Not Responsibility

Teens and young adults are often overwhelmed with responsibilities—school, work, social stress, future planning. They don’t want therapy to feel like just another “thing to fix.”

Frame it as a break or space for self-care, not more pressure:

“This isn’t about adding more to your plate. It’s about giving you somewhere to unload what’s already there.”

5. Be Okay With “No”—For Now

If your child says no to therapy, don’t panic. You’ve planted a seed. Keep the door open by saying:

“That’s totally okay. If you ever change your mind, we can revisit it.”

You might be surprised—sometimes they come back to the idea when you least expect it.

What If They’re Deeply Resistant?

Some resistance is normal, but if your child refuses to consider therapy even after multiple conversations, here’s what you can do:

Start therapy yourself. Yes, really. Parent support sessions can give you tools, reduce burnout, and often shift the family dynamic enough that the young person becomes more open later.
Use “I” language. For example:
“I’m feeling really worried and overwhelmed right now. I’d feel better knowing you had someone besides me to talk to.”
Connect it to their goals.
If they’re struggling with school, work, relationships, or sleep, frame therapy as something that could help with their concerns—not just yours.

What Kind of Therapist Should I Look For?

Finding the right therapist matters. Here are some tips:

Specialize in Teens or Young Adults. Look for someone who specifically works with this age group.
Neurodivergent-Affirming. If your child is autistic, ADHD, or otherwise neurodivergent, it’s essential the therapist is supportive, informed, and affirming.
Virtual or In-Person Options. Some young adults prefer texting and telehealth. Others prefer face-to-face. Let them choose what feels safest.
Culturally Competent. Race, gender, religion, sexuality, and cultural background can all impact how safe your child feels in therapy. Representation matters.

Not sure where to begin? Start with a complimentary parent consultation—we’ll talk through what might be the best fit for your child’s needs.

What If My Child Is Already in Crisis?

If you’re noticing severe symptoms—suicidal thoughts, self-harm, substance abuse, or total withdrawal—don’t wait. This is the time for immediate support.

Reach out to a therapist, doctor, or crisis line to get next steps. Sometimes teens and young adults won’t agree to therapy on their own, but intervention is still necessary. You don’t have to navigate that alone.

What Therapy Can Actually Help With

Here’s what your teen or young adult might work on in therapy:

Reducing anxiety and managing overwhelm
Coping with depression, disconnection, or self-doubt
Building executive functioning and daily living skills
Improving communication and relationship patterns
Exploring identity, sexuality, and self-esteem
Processing trauma or emotional wounds from childhood
Developing a healthier relationship with school, work, or independence
Learning emotional regulation and stress tolerance

Therapy isn’t about talking endlessly—it’s about creating a space for growth that feels manageable and supportive.

A Quick Script for the Conversation

Need help getting started? Here’s a sample script you can adapt to your voice:

“Hey, I’ve been thinking… I know things have felt hard lately, and I want you to know I see that. I care about you so much, and I just wonder if it would help to have someone to talk to—someone who isn’t me, who’s trained to really help with this stuff.
You don’t have to decide right now. It’s just something I want to offer because I love you, and I don’t want you to feel alone in this.”

Short. Kind. Open-ended.

Therapy Isn’t a Failure—It’s a Tool

If you’re thinking about therapy for your teen or young adult, that already shows how much you care. It doesn’t mean you’ve messed up or that something is “wrong.” It means you’re listening, noticing, and wanting support for your child as they navigate the complicated road to adulthood.

You don’t have to wait until things get worse.
You don’t have to push if they’re not ready.
And you don’t have to figure it all out alone.

At Sagebrush Counseling, I support parents and young adults across Texas with virtual therapy that’s warm, flexible, and free of shame or pressure. Whether your child is open to therapy now, or you’re just starting to explore options, we’ll work together to find a next step that feels right.

📞 Call or text: (512) 790-0019
📧 Email: contact@sagebrushcounseling.com
💻 All sessions are virtual and available to residents in Texas.

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A G