What Does BPD Look Like in a Marriage?

Marriage has ups and downs but what happens when your spouse has borderline personality disorder (BPD)? When a spouse has borderline personality disorder it can be more than exhausting and can feel as if your world is falling apart from the emotional highs and lows.

1) Attraction Phase- intense, mirroring, BPD partner can copy mannerisms and things that you like because they want to win you over.

2) Neediness Phase- calls and texts, need for attention and they can be overly sensitive to criticisms.

3) Withdrawing- person with BPD withdraws to get a reaction from their partner to manipulate

4) Devaluing- intense romantic relationship and everything is positive then if you do something wrong, the BPD partner will treat you poorly.

5) Breakup- BPD person will disappear and leave the relationship. The relationship might feel too “easy” for them.

6) Repair- After time has passed, the BPD partner might come back. You may receive phone calls, texts, etc. in order to repair the relationship. The cycle may start again.

7) Cycle starting again- all the stages will happen again.