Neurodiverse Couples Therapy
Couples therapy for Autistic, ADHD, AuDHD, and mixed-neurotype partnerships. When partners run on different neurotypes, the problem usually isn't love. It's translation, and there's a method for that.
You're both trying, and it still keeps missing
You've explained it a hundred ways. They've tried a hundred times. And somehow the same conversation keeps ending in the same place: one of you overwhelmed, one of you confused, both of you further apart than when you started. If this sounds familiar:
- You say something clearly, and what lands is something else entirely
- One of you has quietly become the manager of the household, and resents it; the other feels supervised, and shuts down
- Touch, noise, or closeness that one of you needs is the exact thing that overwhelms the other
- Arguments don't escalate the way other couples describe; they end in a meltdown or a shutdown, and then in silence
- A late diagnosis or discovery has reframed your whole history together, and neither of you knows what to do with that yet
- You've tried couples counseling before, and spent it teaching the therapist about neurodivergence
Different operating systems, one relationship
Neither of you is broken. You're running on different neurotypes, and the friction shows up in predictable places. Naming where it lives is the first phase of the work.
The work is translation, not blame. Each friction point lives in the overlap, which means each one can be worked on together.
Every configuration of a neurodiverse partnership
Diagnosed or self-identified, one partner or both. If your relationship runs on more than one neurotype, this work was built for it.
One partner Autistic
An Autistic partner and a neurotypical or differently-wired partner.
ADHD & relationships
ADHD in the partnership: attention, follow-through, and time landing differently for each of you.
Both partners are ND
Two neurodivergent partners: shared ground, and differences that still need translating.
AuDHD & mixed-neurotype
AuDHD partners and every mixed-neurotype configuration in between.
Late diagnosis or discovery
A diagnosis or discovery mid-relationship that reframes your whole history together.
The four friction points, worked in sequence
Each of the friction points from the map gets its own focused work, matched to your specific relationship.
Communication breakdowns
Building communication across different processing styles: what each of you actually means, how each of you actually hears, and a shared language that survives hard conversations. Effort was never the problem; translation was.
The parent-child dynamic
Unwinding the pattern where one partner manages and the other is managed. Rebalancing responsibility in a way that fits both of your executive systems, so resentment and shutdown both lose their fuel.
Intimacy & sensory differences
Navigating touch, noise, closeness, and desire when your sensory systems disagree, drawing on AANE couples intimacy training and integrative couples sex and intimacy training. Different ways of showing love still count as love.
Conflict, meltdowns & shutdowns
Handling conflict as a team: recognizing the build-up earlier, de-escalating in ways that work for each nervous system, and repairing afterward instead of retreating into silence.
A shared operating manual, built in sequence
This is AANE-informed, structured work, not open-ended sessions. By session three you'll know your plan, its phases, and roughly how long the work takes. Typically 10-20 sessions, 50-55 minutes each.
Support for neurotypical partners is built in: understanding, not fixing. If either partner needs individual therapy alongside our work, I'll connect you with a trusted ND-affirming colleague, so the couples work stays protected.
Assessment
Both partners' profiles, mapped individually and together.
Your relationship map
Where the translation breaks down, and why.
Skills phases
Communication, repair, and intimacy, built in sequence.
Consolidation
Making the new operating manual yours.
All sessions online via secure, HIPAA-compliant video. Both partners must be physically located in Texas, Maine, Montana, or New Hampshire at the time of session. How online couples therapy works →
Many plans don't cover couples therapy. Ask your insurance company whether code 90847 (couples/conjoint therapy) is covered under your plan before scheduling. Private pay is available at $200 per session.
AANE Neurodiverse Couples Therapy, AANE Neurodiverse Couples Intimacy, AANE Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), Gottman-informed infidelity repair, and integrative couples sex and intimacy training. Full credentials →
Ready when you're both ready.
The consultation is free and short. We'll talk by phone (I'll call you at the time you schedule) and see if we're a fit. No pressure, no commitment.