The Differences Between Histrionic and Borderline Personality Traits
As a therapist, I often see people with the complexities of personality traits, especially when it comes to histrionic personality traits and borderline personality traits. These two behavior patterns can look very similar, but they have distinct differences that affect relationships and how people cope with stress.
If you’ve ever wondered, Why do some people seem overly dramatic while others experience extreme emotional highs and lows? Or Is my partner exhibiting traits of histrionic or borderline personality disorder?
Whether you’re in a relationship with someone with these traits, here is a guide to understanding both disorders.
Personality Traits vs. Personality Disorders
There is a difference between having a disorder and having traits; here is some background:
Traits are behaviors and tendencies that may exist in someone but don’t necessarily interfere with daily life.
Personality disorders (HPD or BPD) are diagnosable conditions that significantly impact a person’s ability to function in relationships, work, and self-perception.
Just because someone has histrionic or borderline traits doesn’t mean they have Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD) or Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). However, recognizing these traits can help understand emotional dynamics and relationship patterns.
What Are Histrionic Personality Traits?
Histrionic traits are often described as excessive emotionality, attention-seeking behaviors, and a strong need for approval. People with these traits tend to be dramatic, expressive, and highly social, often craving admiration and validation from others.
Common Traits of Histrionic Personality
Attention-Seeking Behavior – They want to be the center of attention and may go to great lengths to achieve it.
Exaggerated Emotions – Feelings are intense and can shift quickly from excitement to distress.
Flirtatious or Seductive Behavior – They may use charm, flirtation, or sexuality to gain attention, even in non-romantic situations.
Shallow Relationships – They bond quickly with people, but relationships often lack depth or consistency.
Easily Influenced – They are highly suggestible and may change opinions or behaviors based on who they’re around.
Overly Concerned with Appearance – They may put a lot of emphasis on looking attractive or behaving in a way that garners admiration.
Dramatic Speech and Storytelling – Conversations may feel exaggerated, theatrical, or full of emotional highs and lows.
What It Feels Like Being Around Someone with Histrionic Traits
At first, someone with histrionic traits can be exciting, engaging, and full of life. They may charm people quickly and have an infectious energy. However, their need for validation, drama, and external approval can sometimes feel exhausting, especially in close relationships.
What Are Borderline Personality Traits?
Borderline traits are more rooted in emotional instability, fear of abandonment, and extreme relationship patterns. People with borderline traits often struggle with self-identity, impulsivity, and intense emotions that feel impossible to regulate.
Common Traits of Borderline Personality
Fear of Abandonment – They may cling to relationships, fear rejection, or push people away to avoid getting hurt first.
Extreme Emotional Swings – Emotions shift rapidly, from deep sadness to anger to intense love or idealization.
Unstable Relationships – Relationships go from intense closeness to extreme conflict, often with "black-and-white" thinking (someone is either all good or all bad).
Impulsivity – Reckless spending, risky behaviors, self-harm, or substance use may be coping mechanisms for distress.
Identity Struggles – They may feel like they don’t know who they are, leading to rapid shifts in interests, values, or goals.
Chronic Feelings of Emptiness – A deep sense of emotional void they may try to fill through relationships, thrills, or destructive behavior.
Self-Destructive or Suicidal Thoughts – Intense emotional pain may lead to self-harm or thoughts of suicide, especially during conflict.
What It Feels Like Being Around Someone with Borderline Traits
Relationships with people who have borderline traits can be intense, passionate, and deeply connected—but also volatile and emotionally draining. One day, you may feel adored entirely, and the next day, they may withdraw, lash out, or fear you’re leaving them.
How Are Histrionic and Borderline Traits Different?
While both personalities involve intense emotions here are some key differences:
Can Someone Have Both Histrionic and Borderline Traits?
Yes! Some people exhibit traits of both personality types. There can be a lot of overlap, especially in emotional expression and how they view relationships. However, the key difference is that people with borderline traits often struggle with deep emotional pain, impulsivity, and fear of abandonment. In contrast, people with histrionic characteristics tend to focus more on seeking admiration and being the center of attention.
Can Therapy Help with These Traits?
Whether someone has been diagnosed with HPD or BPD or just some traits that affect their relationships, therapy can help them develop emotional regulation, self-awareness, and healthier relationship dynamics.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is especially effective for borderline traits, teaching emotional regulation, mindfulness, and distress tolerance.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can help people with both personality types challenge negative thought patterns and build healthier coping mechanisms.
Couples therapy can provide a safe space to navigate conflicts and reduce the ups and downs.
Final Thoughts
Understanding histrionic vs. borderline personality traits isn’t about labeling people—it is knowing a very real disorder that can affect relationships and interpersonal connections.
If you or a loved one has HPD or BPD, know that change is possible. Therapy can help in couples or individual counseling.
