How to Maintain Professionalism While Dealing with a Workplace Narcissist
Stay calm. Stay clear. Stay you.
Let’s be honest—navigating work is hard enough without someone constantly making everything about them. If you’ve ever dealt with a narcissistic boss or coworker, you know the drill: they hog credit, dodge accountability, and somehow manage to charm the higher-ups while making your day-to-day feel like a mental obstacle course.
And yet—you still have to work with them. Smile. Respond to their emails. Show up to the same Zoom calls and keep your cool when they take your idea and repackage it as their own.
So how do you stay professional without losing your mind? How do you hold boundaries with someone who doesn’t do boundaries? Let’s break it down.
1. First, Know What You’re Dealing With
Not everyone who’s confident or loud is a narcissist. But if someone consistently:
Takes credit for things they didn’t do
Blames others when something goes wrong
Can’t handle feedback
Makes everything about them
Turns on the charm for upper management but treats others like dirt
…it might be more than just a difficult personality. And if you keep thinking, “Wait… am I overreacting?”, you’re probably not. That confusion is actually part of the dynamic.
2. Stop Trying to Win Them Over
This part stings a little: You’re probably not going to change them.
Being extra helpful, extra understanding, or giving them endless benefit of the doubt won’t make them respect you more. If anything, they might see it as a green light to keep pushing your boundaries.
So instead of bending over backward trying to be liked or “fix” things, shift your focus to protecting your peace. You’re not their therapist or their fixer—you’re a professional doing your job.
3. Keep Your Communication Clean and Simple
With narcissistic folks, less is more—especially when emotions are running high.
Keep your tone neutral, your wording clear, and don’t overshare or over-explain. These folks love twisting things or pulling you into drama.
Instead of:
“I just feel like you never listen to my ideas and it’s making me really frustrated.”
Try:
“I noticed my suggestion wasn’t included. Should I follow up in writing next time?”
This keeps things on track and takes away their favorite weapon: emotional chaos.
4. Put It in Writing (Seriously)
When things get shady or slippery, documentation is your best friend.
Follow up on verbal conversations with a quick email summary
Ask for clarity via email instead of only face-to-face
Keep a log if someone regularly crosses lines
This isn’t about being sneaky—it’s about protecting yourself in case things escalate. And sadly, with workplace narcissists, that’s always a possibility.
5. Don’t Feed the Drama or the Ego
Narcissists thrive on two things: attention and control. If they can’t get admiration, they’ll settle for creating chaos or pushing your buttons.
Don’t take the bait.
Stay calm. Stay brief. Redirect conversations back to the task at hand. And if they start monologuing about their own brilliance, it’s okay to nod politely and bring it back to the actual work.
Example:
“Sounds good—so just to confirm, you’re approving the timeline as-is?”
6. Boundaries, Boundaries, Boundaries
You don’t have to justify having limits—especially with someone who doesn’t respect them.
If they constantly ping you after hours or dump last-minute tasks on your desk, try phrases like:
“I’ll be offline after 6, but happy to circle back in the morning.”
“I’m at capacity this week—let’s revisit this next Monday.”
“I’ll need that in writing before moving forward.”
You don’t have to be rude. You just have to be clear.
7. Find Your People
These situations can feel really isolating, especially if it seems like no one else notices what’s happening. But narcissists often create the same tension for multiple people—you’re probably not the only one.
Without turning it into gossip, try to connect with coworkers you trust. Chances are, you’ll find quiet allies who’ve had similar experiences and can help you stay grounded.
Even just having one supportive work friend can make a huge difference.
8. Stay Rooted in Who You Are
It’s easy to start questioning yourself when someone’s constantly undermining or manipulating you. That’s why it’s so important to stay connected to your values.
How do you want to show up at work?
What does professionalism mean to you?
What kind of energy do you want to bring into the room?
You don’t have to play their game. You just have to keep showing up as you—calm, steady, and rooted in integrity.
9. Know When to Escalate (or Exit)
Sometimes, things cross a line—and you’re no longer just dealing with a tough personality. If it turns into bullying, discrimination, or sabotage, it’s okay to speak up.
You can:
Go to HR with documentation
Bring concerns to a trusted supervisor
Talk to a legal or employee rights advisor if needed
And sometimes, the healthiest move is finding a way out. That’s not quitting—it’s choosing yourself.
10. Protect Your Energy Outside of Work
Even if you’re keeping it together professionally, dealing with someone like this takes a toll. You might feel drained, anxious, or on edge long after you log off.
That’s why it’s essential to take care of yourself outside of work.
Unplug. Move your body. Talk to people who actually care how you’re doing. Vent, journal, or go to therapy.
You’re not crazy. You’re just dealing with someone who doesn’t know how to have healthy relationships—and it’s okay to need extra support.
You Can Be Professional Without Playing Small
It’s exhausting dealing with someone who twists words, plays the victim, and acts like the rules don’t apply to them. But you don’t have to match their energy. You don’t have to shrink, explain yourself endlessly, or sacrifice your sanity. You can stay professional. You can set limits. You can lead with calm confidence—even in the middle of chaos. And the more you do, the harder it is for them to rattle you.
Need support dealing with workplace stress or toxic dynamics? At Sagebrush Counseling, I help professionals navigate work environments, build boundaries, and stay grounded in who they are—even when things get messy. If you’re tired of dreading Monday mornings, let’s talk. Reach out here for support.
