How to Protect Your Mental Health During Baby Showers & Kid-Focused Events

The Emotional Challenge of Celebrating While Struggling

Attending baby showers, birthdays, and other child-centered events can be deeply painful for those struggling with infertility. While you may genuinely love and care for the people inviting you, these gatherings can trigger feelings of sadness, grief, isolation, and even resentment.

Hearing pregnancy stories, seeing gifts for newborns, or being surrounded by happy parents and children can serve as a painful reminder of what you’re longing for but haven’t yet achieved. Many people facing infertility experience a mix of emotions—joy for others but deep sadness for themselves—which can feel overwhelming and exhausting.

If you’ve found yourself dreading these events or feeling emotionally drained afterward, you’re not alone. The good news is that you have permission to protect your mental health, set boundaries, and make decisions that prioritize your well-being.

Deciding Whether to Attend: It’s Okay to Say No

Before committing to an event, take a moment to check in with yourself:

• How have I been feeling emotionally in the past few weeks?

• Will attending this event bring me more pain than joy?

• Do I feel obligated to go, or do I truly want to be there?

• Will I have the emotional capacity to engage, or will it leave me drained?

If the thought of attending makes you anxious, sad, or emotionally exhausted, it’s completely okay to decline the invitation. Protecting your mental health does not mean you don’t care about your loved ones—it simply means you’re prioritizing your emotional well-being.

How to Politely Decline Without Guilt

If you choose not to attend, you don’t need to explain every detail. A simple, thoughtful response can help set a boundary without damaging relationships.

✔ “I’m so happy for you, and I appreciate the invitation! Unfortunately, I won’t be able to make it, but I hope you have a wonderful celebration.”
✔ “Thank you so much for thinking of me! I’m sending my love and best wishes, but I need to take care of myself right now and won’t be able to attend.”
✔ “I’d love to celebrate in a different way—maybe a coffee date or a call—so we can catch up!”

Saying no does not make you selfish. It’s an act of self-care.

If You Decide to Go: Preparing Yourself Emotionally

Sometimes, skipping an event isn’t an option—or maybe you genuinely want to attend but worry about the emotional toll. If you choose to go, having a self-care plan in place can help you manage your emotions while still showing up in a way that feels safe for you.

1. Set Emotional Boundaries Before the Event

Ask yourself:
✔ What am I comfortable talking about?
✔ Are there any topics I want to avoid?
✔ What is my plan if I start feeling overwhelmed?

Consider having a support system in place, whether it’s your partner, a close friend at the event, or even someone you can text if you need a moment to step away.

2. Prepare for Uncomfortable Conversations

At baby showers and family gatherings, well-meaning people often ask about pregnancy or future children. Even if they have good intentions, these questions can feel deeply painful.

Instead of feeling caught off guard, have a go-to response ready:

✔ “We’re focusing on the present right now, but thanks for asking!”
✔ “That’s something we’re keeping private, but I appreciate your thoughts.”
✔ “It’s been a challenging journey for us, and I’d rather focus on celebrating today.”

Shifting the conversation back to the event can help prevent unwanted discussions.

3. Give Yourself Permission to Take Breaks

If you start feeling overwhelmed:

• Step outside for fresh air and a few deep breaths.

• Excuse yourself to the bathroom for a moment of solitude and grounding.

• Send a quick text to a trusted friend or partner for emotional support.

It’s okay to take a break whenever you need one.

4. Limit Your Time at the Event

If a long celebration feels too emotionally exhausting, consider setting a time limit for yourself:

✔ Arrive a little later or leave earlier.
✔ Give yourself permission to stay only as long as it feels comfortable.
✔ Let the host know in advance: “I’d love to stop by for a little while, but I won’t be able to stay too long.”

Shortening your stay can help reduce emotional overwhelm while still allowing you to show support.

Coping with Post-Event Emotions

Even if you make it through the event with a smile, you may feel emotionally drained afterward. It’s important to give yourself grace and space to process your emotions.

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings Without Judgment

You might feel:
✔ Relief that the event is over.
✔ Resentment or sadness.
✔ Happiness for your loved one, but grief for yourself.

All of these feelings are valid. Instead of pushing them aside, try journaling about your experience or talking to someone you trust.

2. Engage in Self-Care That Feels Restorative

After an emotionally challenging event, do something that feels nurturing and healing:

✔ Take a warm bath or shower to relax.
✔ Watch a favorite movie or read a book.
✔ Go for a walk in nature to clear your mind.
✔ Spend quiet time with your partner, pet, or closest friends.

Giving yourself space to recharge emotionally is just as important as setting boundaries before the event.

3. Reflect on What Worked (and What Didn’t)

After the event, ask yourself:
✔ What helped me cope today?
✔ What triggered difficult emotions?
✔ Would I handle anything differently next time?

Every experience is an opportunity to learn what works best for your emotional well-being.

Final Thoughts: Your Mental Health Comes First

Navigating baby showers and child-centered events while struggling with infertility is incredibly challenging, but you have the right to protect your mental health in whatever way feels best for you.

✔ If attending feels too painful, it’s okay to say no.
✔ If you choose to go, set boundaries, take breaks, and give yourself grace.
✔ No matter what, your feelings are valid, and you deserve support.

Infertility is an emotional journey, and finding ways to protect your well-being is not selfish—it’s necessary.

Find Support Through Sagebrush Counseling

If you’re struggling with infertility-related anxiety, grief, or emotional exhaustion, Sagebrush Counseling is here to help. We offer therapy for individuals and couples navigating infertility, helping you find strategies to cope, set boundaries, and rebuild emotional resilience.

Reach out today to schedule a session and take the first step toward emotional healing and self-care.