How to Deal with a Narcissistic Coworker: Maintaining Your Sanity at Work
We’ve all had that coworker. The one who takes credit for your work thrives on drama and manages to make everything about them. You know, the one who sucks the energy out of the room and leaves you wondering, Is it me, or are they actually this exhausting?
If you’re dealing with a narcissistic coworker, you already know that they’re not easy to work with. They manipulate and somehow always manage to dodge accountability.
How to Deal with a Narcissistic Co-worker
Step 1: Recognize What You’re Dealing With
First things first, and not everyone annoying at work is a narcissist. But if your coworker:
Always makes things about them (even when it’s not).
Craves attention, praise, and validation at all times.
Blames others for their mistakes and refuses to take responsibility.
Gaslights or manipulates to get what they want.
Throws people under the bus (but acts like your best friend when they need something).
…you might be dealing with a true workplace narcissist.
And the part that makes this tough? You’re not going to change them. Narcissists don’t wake up one day and think, Wow, I should start being more considerate. So, instead of wasting your energy trying to get through to them, your best bet is learning how to manage your interactions and protect your sanity.
Step 2: Set Boundaries (and Stick to Them)
Narcissists love pushing limits. If they sense they can bulldoze you, drain your energy, or rope you into their drama, they’ll keep doing it. That’s why boundaries are key.
What this looks like in real life:
Do they constantly interrupt you? Start shutting it down: “I’ll be happy to talk when I’m done with this.”
They guilt-trip you into doing their work? Say, “I’m at capacity right now—maybe check with [literally anyone else].”
They love to gossip and stir up drama. Don’t engage. A simple “Oh wow, that’s interesting” with no follow-up question kills their momentum. Stay firm. Don’t justify, don’t argue, don’t over-explain. The less they feel like they can control your time and energy, the less appealing you become as a target.
Step 3: Don’t Take the Bait
Narcissists thrive on chaos and reaction. They’ll poke, prod, and test to see what gets a response. The best thing you can do? Refuse to play the game.
They try to make you look bad in a meeting? Stay calm—correct misinformation with facts, not emotions.
They criticize you unfairly? Say, “Thanks for the feedback,” then keep moving. (They hate it when you don’t react.)
They push your buttons? Respond with neutrality and boredom, the opposite of what they want.
Think of them as reality TV villains; they only have power if people react. Don’t give them the satisfaction.
Step 4: Protect Your Work and Your Reputation
Narcissistic coworkers love taking credit for things they didn’t do—or shifting blame when things go wrong. If you work with one, document everything.
Keep email receipts. If you agree to something verbally, follow up with, “Just confirming our conversation…” so there’s a paper trail.
Track your contributions. If they try to take credit, you’ll have proof of what you actually did.
Loop in others when necessary. If they try to blame you for something, you’ll have witnesses who know the real story.
Step 5: Find Your Support System
Dealing with a narcissist can feel isolating, especially when they manipulate people into thinking they’re charming, competent, or just “misunderstood.” Find coworkers you trust and lean on them when things get frustrating.
Even if they’re not directly involved, having someone say, “Yeah, I’ve noticed that too,” can be a massive relief.
And if the work environment is toxic beyond repair? It’s okay to start looking for an exit.
Final Thoughts: Keep Your Energy, Not Their Drama
Narcissistic coworkers are exhausting, but they don’t have to ruin your work life. Knowing what you’re dealing with, setting boundaries, refusing to engage in their drama, and protecting yourself.
And above all? Don’t let them get to you. Their behavior says everything about them and nothing about you.
You’ve got this. And if all else fails? At least you’ll have some great stories for happy hour.
