10 Signs You Might Be Walking on Eggshells

Some relationships feel light and effortless. Others feel like a constant tightrope walk—where every word, every action, every little thing could set someone off. You might be walking on eggshells if you’ve been tiptoeing around someone’s moods, carefully filtering what you say, or bracing for their reaction.

Walking on eggshells isn’t just about being considerate of someone’s feelings. It’s different from respecting boundaries or avoiding topics you know are hurtful. That’s just being a thoughtful person. Walking on eggshells means constantly adjusting your behavior out of fear. Fear of an angry outburst, cold silence, or being made to feel like you did something wrong when you didn’t.

It’s exhausting. It’s unfair. And over time, it can erode your confidence, make you question yourself, and even change how you show up in all your relationships. If any of this sounds familiar, here are ten signs that you might be walking on eggshells.

Here are 10 Ways You Might Be Walking on Eggshells in Your Relationship

1. You’re Always Filtering Your Words to Avoid Setting Them Off

Before saying anything, you run it through an internal checklist. Will this upset them? Will they take it the wrong way? Even casual topics, like discussing your day, sharing an opinion, or asking a simple question, could turn into a minefield of unexpected reactions.

It’s not about choosing your words carefully out of kindness. It’s about avoiding.

2. You Feel Anxious or On Edge Around Them

You never know which version of them you’re going to get. Will they be in a good mood, or will something you say—something innocent, trigger an annoyed sigh, an eye-roll, or worse?

Your body feels it before your mind even registers it. You tense up, your stomach feels tight, your breathing changes. You’re hyper-aware of their energy, constantly scanning for signs that something is wrong… even if they haven’t said a word.

3. You Change Your Behavior to Keep Them Happy

You’ve learned that keeping them happy means adjusting yourself to fit their needs, their moods, and their expectations. You don’t joke the way you used to. You avoid bringing up specific topics. You go along with plans you don’t want to do. Not because you want to but because it’s easier than dealing with the fallout.

Over time, you start shrinking yourself—turning down parts of your personality, second-guessing your instincts, and molding yourself into someone more… acceptable.

4. You Apologize Even When You Haven’t Done Anything Wrong

If “I’m sorry” comes out of your mouth more than you’d like to admit, ask yourself…why?

Do you apologize to smooth things over? To avoid an argument, even when you know you didn’t do anything wrong?

Apologies are meant to take responsibility for something you did. But when you’re walking on eggshells.

5. You Avoid Bringing Up Certain Topics Because It’s Not Worth the Fight

There are things you’d like to say. Things that matter. But you don’t tell them.

You know you’ll get:

• It's an over-the-top reaction that makes you regret bringing it up.

• A passive-aggressive response that leaves you feeling guilty.

• A dismissive attitude that makes you feel like your feelings don’t matter.

6. You Feel Responsible for Managing Their Emotions

When they’re upset, you take it personally. When they’re in a bad mood, you feel it’s your job to fix it. You try to say the right thing, do the right thing, make things better.

But no matter how much effort you put in, their emotions don’t change—at least, not for long. Because the truth is, you’re not responsible for regulating their moods. That’s something they have to do for themselves.

7. You Downplay Your Feelings to Avoid Drama

You tell yourself it’s not a big deal that you’re probably overreacting. That you should just let it go. And maybe you do… for a while.

But after enough time, you realize you’re always letting things go. You’re the one keeping the peace. You’re the one swallowing your feelings, while they have the freedom to express every irritation, every frustration, every little thing that bothers them.

That's not a balanced relationship when your emotions never feel safe enough to be spoken aloud.

8. You Constantly Gauge Their Mood Before Speaking or Acting

Before you say or do anything, you check their body language, tone, and energy. You can for tension. You try to guess if today is a good or bad day before making a decision, asking a question, or even existing in their space.

Instead of just being yourself, you always anticipate how they might react. You’re always playing defense.

9. You Feel Relieved When They’re in a Good Mood

When they’re happy, you can finally breathe. You feel like you can relax, laugh, and be yourself. But deep down, you know it won’t last. You know the tension will return, that something might set them off again at any moment.

A good mood isn’t security. It’s just a temporary break from the stress.

10. You Struggle to Express Yourself Without Guilt

Guilt washes over you when you express a need, a boundary, or even a frustration. You wonder if you should have just stayed quiet. You worry you’re being too much, sensitive, or demanding.

And if they react negatively—if they shut down, lash out, or twist it back on you—it only reinforces the feeling that you were wrong to speak up in the first place.

But you weren’t wrong. You were just conditioned to believe that your needs don’t matter as much as theirs.

What to Do If You’re Walking on Eggshells

If any of this sounds familiar, take a step back and ask yourself: Is this relationship healthy?

Something isn't right if you’re constantly adjusting yourself to avoid conflict, keep someone happy, or protect yourself from their unpredictable reactions. Here’s how you can start shifting the dynamic:

• Recognize that their emotions are not your responsibility. You are not in charge of keeping someone else calm or happy.

• Practice expressing your feelings in safe spaces. If you’ve been silencing yourself for a long time, start small—maybe with a trusted friend or therapist.

• Set boundaries where you can. If someone reacts poorly every time you express yourself, that’s not your fault—it’s a sign of their inability to handle honest conversation.

• Consider therapy. If this pattern is deeply ingrained, therapy can help you unpack where it started, develop healthier relationship habits, and regain your sense of self.

Walking on eggshells isn’t just exhausting—it’s a signal that something in the relationship needs to change. You deserve to be in relationships—romantic, family, or friendships—where you feel safe to be yourself without fear or guilt. If you want to schedule couples or individual counseling for some of these issues, reach out today.