Reasons Why Narcissists Cheat on Their Partners
Cheating is one of the most painful betrayals in a relationship. Still, when a narcissist cheats, it’s about more than just infidelity. What is happening is that it’s about control. There is a difference between someone having narcissistic traits and diagnosed with NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder). With the traits of narcissism or NPD there is complete disregard for their partner’s emotions.
Narcissists cheat for reasons that go beyond attraction or boredom. Their need for validation and ego-boosting attention makes them more likely to manipulate and betray in relationships. Whether they’re covert, overt, male, or female, narcissists often follow predictable cheating patterns, and rarely do they feel regret for what they’ve done.
So why do narcissists cheat? And can they ever be faithful?
Why Do Covert Narcissists Cheat?
Covert narcissists aren’t the loud, attention-seeking type, but don’t be fooled. Covert narcissist need validation and control just as much as their overt counterparts. Instead of demanding attention openly, they manipulate quietly, using subtle guilt, passive-aggressiveness, and emotional withdrawal to keep power in relationships. When they cheat, it’s rarely about simple attraction, filling their deep need for external reassurance, seeking attention they feel deprived of, and maintaining a sense of superiority. They thrive on secrecy and deception. They find a thrill in sneaking around and knowing something their partner doesn’t. Unlike overt narcissists who cheat because they believe they can, covert narcissists often rationalize their infidelity by playing the victim, blaming their partner for neglecting them, not appreciating them enough, or making them feel unworthy. They don’t just cheat; they rewrite the narrative so that it’s never their fault. If confronted, they’ll minimize, deflect, or even turn the tables, making their partner feel like the one who failed in the relationship. Their ability to twist reality and avoid accountability makes their cheating even more damaging.
Why Do Female Narcissists Cheat?
Narcissistic women cheat not because of anything you did or didn’t do but because they crave constant admiration, attention, and new sources of validation. They see relationships as transactions, where partners are replaceable when they no longer provide the excitement, power, or control they desire. Some are overt in their infidelity, openly flaunting their behavior with little to no shame, while others are covert, twisting reality and blaming their partner for their actions. Whether they justify their betrayal by making you feel like you pushed them away or move on without remorse, the common thread is a complete lack of accountability. Female narcissists often use seduction and manipulation to maintain control, ensuring they always have backup attention waiting in the wings. When confronted, they may gaslight, deflect, or play the victim, making you question whether you were the problem all along. The truth? You weren’t. Narcissists cheat because they always need something new, exciting, and self-serving and no single person will ever be enough to fill that void.
Can a Narcissist Be Faithful?
Narcissists struggle with faithfulness because their need for validation, admiration, and control often outweighs any sense of loyalty or commitment. Whether overt or covert, male or female, their relationships are usually transactional—designed to serve their ego rather than foster genuine emotional connection. Their sense of entitlement and grandiosity convinces them that rules don’t apply to them, allowing them to justify infidelity without guilt. Many narcissists are emotionally unavailable, fearing true intimacy and avoiding deep connections that require vulnerability. Instead, they thrive on superficial relationships, using charm and seduction to keep multiple sources of admiration available. When caught, they may gaslight, deflect blame, or even position themselves as the victim, making their partner question their reality. Female narcissists, in particular, may manipulate through seduction, guilt, or triangulation, ensuring they maintain power in their relationships. Narcissists also tend to devalue their partners over time, making it easier for them to cheat without remorse. Even if they’re not actively engaging in physical infidelity, they are often flirting, keeping their options open, or engaging in emotional affairs to maintain a steady flow of external validation. At their core, narcissists struggle with faithfulness not because of a lack of love from their partners but because no one person will ever be enough to fill the emptiness they refuse to confront.
Do All Narcissists Cheat?
Not every narcissist cheats, but many do—and when they do, it’s rarely about love, attraction, or even boredom. For narcissists, relationships are transactional, meaning they prioritize what they can get out of them rather than fostering real emotional connection. Their need for constant validation, control, and excitement often leads them to seek attention from multiple sources, making long-term faithfulness incredibly rare. Even if they aren’t physically cheating, many engage in micro-cheating, emotional affairs, or secret interactions that cross the line of trust.
The reality? A narcissist is only “faithful” when they have no better option at the moment. If an opportunity arises to gain admiration, boost their ego, or assert control over multiple people, they often take it—without remorse. And if they get caught? They’ll deny, deflect, and twist the narrative to make you question yourself.
Narcissist Cheating Patterns: How They Get Away with It
Narcissists have predictable patterns when it comes to cheating. They:
Love-bomb their partner to create deep emotional dependence.
They start devaluing their partner once they feel secure in the relationship.
Seek validation elsewhere, often flirting or testing boundaries.
They cheat, then lie or gaslight their partner if caught.
Blame their partner for the infidelity, twisting the narrative.
Repeat the cycle, often with multiple affairs.
If something feels off, trust your gut, narcissists are skilled at covering their tracks.
Do Narcissists Feel Regret for Cheating?
Cheating is a deep betrayal that leaves emotional scars on the betrayed and those entangled in the deception. When a narcissist cheats, it’s not just about infidelity—it’s about control, entitlement, and the constant need for validation. But do they regret it? Do they feel guilt for the pain they’ve caused, or is their regret only about getting caught?
The truth is that narcissists don’t experience regret the way emotionally healthy people do. Instead of genuine remorse, they feel:
Annoyance that they got caught.
Anger that you’re upset.
Frustration that their control over you is slipping.
If a narcissist says they “regret” cheating, what they often mean is:
“I regret having to deal with the consequences.”
“I regret that I lost control over you.”
“I regret that I now have to put in effort to win you back.”
Genuine regret requires empathy, accountability, and self-awareness, things narcissists lack. Their focus is always on themselves, their needs, and their ability to manipulate the situation in their favor.
Instead of dwelling on whether a narcissist feels bad for cheating, the real question is: Why invest your energy in someone who never truly valued your trust in the first place? Healing isn’t about waiting for a narcissist’s regret, it’s about reclaiming your peace, worth, and emotional freedom. You deserve a relationship where trust is honored, not constantly broken.
Female Covert Narcissist Cheating Patterns
Female covert narcissists are calculated, emotionally manipulative, and secretive. Their cheating patterns often look like this:
Creating “fake” emotional closeness with multiple people.
Using flirting and seduction to control partners.
Pretending to be innocent or misunderstood while lying about their affairs.
Triangulating partners—pitting people against each other to keep control.
Gaslighting partners into believing they’re the problem.
Unlike overt narcissists, female covert narcissists cheat in ways that are harder to detect—playing the victim while betraying their partner behind the scenes.
How Narcissists Justify Cheating
Narcissists don’t see cheating as wrong—they see it as justified. If caught, they’ll often say:
“If you had given me more attention, I wouldn’t have needed to cheat.”
“I didn’t think it was a big deal.”
“You’re overreacting.”
“Everyone does it—you’re just insecure.”
They twist the blame so that you end up apologizing, even when they’re the ones who betrayed you.
What Happens When a Narcissist Gets Caught Cheating?
Deny, deny, deny. Even with proof, they’ll try to rewrite reality.
Blame you. They’ll twist the situation to make it seem like you drove them to cheat.
Love bomb to regain control. If they don’t want to lose you, they’ll suddenly become the perfect partner—until you stop being mad.
Move on quickly. If they don’t think you’ll forgive them, they’ll discard you and jump to someone new.
Narcissists don’t see cheating as a betrayal—they see it as their right.
Can You Have a Healthy Relationship with a Narcissist?
Honestly? No.
A narcissist’s need for control, validation, and self-preservation makes true emotional intimacy impossible.
You can try to set boundaries, but they’ll test them.
You can try to hold them accountable, but they’ll gaslight you.
You can try to fix things, but you’ll always be the one doing the work.
A narcissist won’t change—but you can choose to walk away.
Final Thoughts: Narcissists Cheat Because They Can
Narcissists don’t cheat because of love, attraction, or even boredom. They cheat because they feel entitled to it and know they can manipulate their way out of consequences.
If a narcissist has cheated on you, the best thing you can do?
Stop looking for closure—you won’t get it.
Recognize the cycle—and step out of it.
Know your worth—because they never will.
Because at the end of the day? You deserve someone who doesn’t make you question your reality.
