What is Premarital Counseling?
So, you’re engaged—or seriously thinking about the next big step—and somewhere between picking napkin colors and deciding if you actually need a videographer, someone mentions premarital counseling.
And your first thought might be:
“Wait... are we supposed to be worried about something?”
Short answer: not at all. In fact, premarital counseling isn’t about fixing something that’s broken. It’s about making sure your relationship has the tools it needs to keep growing—especially after the honeymoon glow wears off and real life kicks in.
Let’s break it down without the therapy-speak. No judgment, no pressure—just the stuff couples actually want to know.
Okay, So What Is Premarital Counseling?
Premarital counseling is kind of like a guided check-in with a therapist who knows how relationships work. It’s a safe space to talk through things like:
Communication styles
How you each handle stress, money, family, sex, and conflict
The stuff you might think you're on the same page about... until life gets real
It’s not about pointing fingers or listing out flaws. It’s more like:
“Let’s understand each other better before things get hard.”
Think of it like emotional prep for the marriage—not just the wedding.
What Do You Talk About in Sessions?
Every couple is different, but here are some big topics that usually come up:
Communication
Can you actually talk about hard things without spiraling or avoiding each other?
Money
How do you each feel about spending, saving, debt, budgeting, and who does what?
Sex & Intimacy
Are your desires, love languages, or comfort levels aligned—or at least something you can talk about honestly?
Family & Boundaries
How involved will your parents or in-laws be? What does “family” look like for you two?
Kids
Do you want them? When? How many? What are your parenting vibes?
Big Life Goals
Where do you want to live? How do you define success? Are you dreaming in the same direction?
Is This Just for Religious Couples?
Nope. While some churches and temples offer or require it, premarital counseling is for anyone who wants to build a stronger relationship, no matter your background or beliefs.
Plenty of secular therapists (like me!) offer premarital sessions that are modern, non-religious, and super practical.
How Long Does It Take?
Most couples do anywhere from 4 to 8 sessions, depending on what you want to cover. Some people come in just wanting a basic relationship tune-up. Others want to really dig in. Either way, it’s flexible—and often available virtually too.
Some couples even keep checking in after the wedding to keep their connection strong. No rules here.
Why Bother If We’re Not Having Issues?
Honestly? That’s the best time to come in.
Premarital counseling isn’t just for couples who are struggling—it’s for couples who want to stay strong. Kind of like going to the gym before you’re out of shape.
You learn how to:
Handle stress together
Prevent resentment
Communicate when you're tired, busy, or overwhelmed
Navigate future curveballs like parenting, grief, or career changes
Stay connected even when real life gets real
You’d be surprised how many couples realize they’ve never really talked about some of this stuff before—and how much better it feels once they do.
What If We Never Fight?
That’s awesome… and also, real talk? Not fighting yet doesn’t mean you’re immune. Most couples hit rough patches eventually. Premarital counseling gives you tools so that when those moments happen, you’re ready.
How Do We Find a Counselor?
Look for a licensed couples therapist or counselor who offers premarital services. You can ask things like:
“Do you use any assessments?” (like PREPARE/ENRICH)
“Do you offer virtual sessions?”
“Do you work with LGBTQ+ couples or neurodivergent partnerships?” (if that applies to you)
“How structured or informal are the sessions?”
The right fit matters. You want someone you both feel safe and relaxed with.
This Isn’t About Problems, It’s About Preparation
Getting married is exciting, but it’s also a big deal. You’re blending two lives, pasts, and ways of doing things.
Premarital counseling gives you the space to pause, reflect, and build a shared vision for your future. It’s not about digging up drama—it’s about setting your relationship up to thrive.
If you’re even a little curious, it’s worth trying. You might walk away with more clarity, more connection, and a stronger partnership than ever.
Thinking about premarital counseling? At Sagebrush Counseling, I offer laid-back, honest, and emotionally safe sessions to help couples get clear on what they want—and what helps them stay close. Whether planning your wedding or dreaming about forever, you deserve a solid start.
