Obsessed or In Love? Why You Can’t Stop Thinking About Him
The Reasons Behind Why You Can’t Stop Thinking About Him
You wake up, and he’s the first thing on your mind. No matter what you’re doing, he lingers there—like a song stuck on repeat. It doesn’t matter if he hasn’t texted back or if you haven’t seen him in weeks.
If you feel emotionally tied to someone who gives you mixed signals or just enough attention to keep you hoping, Is this real, or am I just holding onto the idea of what could be?
Why You Can’t Stop Thinking About Him: The Psychology of Limerence
Limerence is more than just a crush or liking someone. An intense emotional fixation makes you feel connected to someone unavailable or emotionally distant, the avoidant type.
It creates an addictive cycle. one where every small interaction feels like a rush of dopamine. You replay conversations and search for meaning in his words or even silence.
You might have scrolled through endless forums or social media posts, looking for signs that he’s thinking about you, too.
If someone truly values you, you won’t have to decode anything.
Realizing That How He Treats You Is the Answer
People who care about you show it through actions, not words.
It’s easy to get caught in the illusion of what could be—the potential, the moments where they seem to care, the sweet things they say in passing. But if their actions don’t match their words, then their words mean nothing.
If he says he cares about you but disappears for days?
If he flirts with you but refuses to commit?
If he acts affectionate but keeps you at a distance?
That’s not love. That’s emotional convenience.
He’s keeping you around because you give, give, and give, and he doesn’t have to do much in return. Whether doing it intentionally or just enjoying the attention, he benefits from your emotional labor while offering nothing in return.
You Deserve More Than Breadcrumbs
Every time you hold onto hope for someone who won’t commit, you’re telling yourself that you’re willing to settle for scraps of attention instead of the love and respect you deserve in a relationship. If he isn’t giving you that, why not find someone who will treat you with the respect and communication that makes a healthy relationship?
It’s time to stop chasing after people who:
Only text you when they’re bored or lonely.
Give you just enough affection to keep you hooked but never enough to build something real.
Keep you as an option while they wait for something “better.”
When you constantly give yourself away to someone who isn’t entirely choosing you, you send the message to yourself and them that you’re willing to wait around for the bare minimum effort.
But you’re not here for breadcrumbs. You deserve more than this and someone who makes you feel enough.
How to Break Free From This Emotional Hold
If you’re tired of being mentally stuck on someone who isn’t showing up for you, it’s time to detach, heal, and reclaim your self-worth.
1. Cut the Cord—No More Emotional Attachment to a Fantasy
Stop feeding the illusion. That means:
No more rereading old texts like they hold some secret meaning.
No more looking for “signs” that he secretly loves you.
2. Give Yourself Closure (Because He Won’t)
If you’re waiting for a grand realization or apology, you’ll be waiting forever. Closure isn’t something someone else gives you; you decide for yourself.
Write down everything you wish you could say. Acknowledge the hurt, then decide to move forward. You don’t need his validation to let go.
3. Block, Mute, Delete—Whatever It Takes to Detox From Him
If seeing his name on your phone sends you into an emotional spiral, take control of your environment.
Mute or unfollow him on social media.
Delete old texts or pictures.
If necessary, block his number to stop you from reaching out.
4. Shift Your Focus Back to You
Instead of obsessing over him, ask yourself:
What do I want for myself outside of this?
What passions or goals have I neglected during this?
What would it feel like to love myself as much as I’ve been chasing love from someone else?
Reclaiming your energy and self-worth isn’t just about moving on from him. It might also be a time to learn your attachment style and understand how it can play out in relationships.
Final Thoughts: You Are Worth More Than This
You inherently deserve commitment and loyalty without chasing or begging for it. You don’t have to settle for someone who keeps you waiting or overanalyzing every interaction.
The right person will make their feelings clear. They won’t keep you guessing. They won’t make you feel like loving them is a performance you have to perfect.
So stop making excuses for someone who doesn’t choose you. Choose yourself instead.
Because once you do? You won’t have time to think about someone who never thought enough of you to show up fully. If you’re seeking counseling for relationship issues, reach out today.
